my life

I've decided to move.

2005-08-23T14:02:00.001+08:00

After much consideration, i've decided to shift my blog to wyemeng81.multiply.com. I kinda like there better, since it is easier for me. I'll keep posting here once a while, but then most of mythings will be there. thanks for those who's been coming here to read, and you know who you are. thanks girl!

The haze is BAD~~~

2005-08-10T13:46:00.000+08:00

The weather's been that bad for a few days, and according to papers, it wil be like that UNTIL October! gosh! i'm suffocating right now, even a fully air-cond office is full with dust. When i woke up this morning i thought it's snowing in malaysia! That's how bad it is. Everyone's pointing their finger to another party, and no body's doing anything. We're in a emergency here! Why didn't the government just declare emergency? and ask all the primary school children stay back at home? They are the ones that do not know how to protect themselves.... and yet the government there is CONSIDERING they will make man made rain. They SHOULD now! The haze is bad! The visibility is les than 80m in some area in KL! It's definitely the dry season, so there won't be any rain in these few days, what can we do? I'm sick. The earth's sick, but no one care about it. We're just some stupid humans that only know how to exploit this place. Sad sad sad. I don't want the earth dies. I want' my children enjoy what i have right now. Not some polluted air and water!

This is LIFE

2005-08-05T22:45:00.000+08:00

Been chatting happily with all the friends, during office hours, but I still finish a lot of work. I've drained my mp3's battery, and i'll be sleeping dead if there's no sound! I have no choice, but to find friends to chat with me (seems like a very valid excuse to chat during office hours.... wuakaka :D)

Been reading some forums online, and bump into a thread by a girl, who's 45kg, height 163, and still she wanna lose weight! She dais she wanna be at 40kg! But then i don't understand is, if she said that she's very very fat (my ass is fatter than hers....), why the hell she put her prettiest pic, showing her stick-body to the whole world! This is just too over! I mean, the-fat-ass-that-writing-now is only 2 cm taller than her, but more than 10kg heavier than her, if she's fat, then I'm OBESE la! I won't give any comment on her thread, coz i think that she's just a big show off there. Ya right, eventhough she's an event show girl, just go back to your own world and blab this and that to all those who's facing the same problem, who wants to be as thin as chopstick. We want to lose weight healthily! I'm going to get a heart attack sooner or later if i see more of her pics........ I guess this is life then, every girl wanna be thinner, and in this world THIN=PRETTY.... i'm too obsessed with the thinness...but i constantly remind myself to lose it healthily, and always eat and exercise! Exercise is the mose important thing in losing weight!

What's gender is your brain?

2005-08-05T14:11:00.000+08:00

What's gender is your brain? Go find out yourself! This is quite fun, but i guess you can get to know the results even when you're in the middle of the quiz.

Just be yourself girl!

2005-08-05T11:05:00.000+08:00

A friend told me that she's very sad, coz she just broke up. And the reason for breaking up? The guy said that she's not a party animal, and that she's no fun, that's why he's asking for a breakup. What the f***! Is it a crime that we're nice girls? Is it that bad that we don't smoke and drink, and party our night out to the grave? Mind you excessive alcohol and narcotine will make a female AGE faster! I don't understand that. The only reason i can think of it is that the guy is not genuinely interested to have a stable relationship, he's just asking for a casual fling, where he can bed the girl easy, coz a lot of those girls that party hard are labeled as easy target (but i do not mean ALL, ok). This just pissed me off. I mean, I'M FURIOUS! Who the hell he thinks he is? Asking this kind of things from a girl? What the heck. He thinks the whole wolrd evolved around him is it? He thinks that he's te only male gender in this world is it? I love myself! I won't do this just to please a guy, who definitely don't appreciate who am i, who only wan sex out of me. I mean, don't have doubt in yourself, just get the most out of what you can do, and the path will be in front of you. He's definitely not a husband material also, and I'm very proud to tell the whole world that i'm a wife material! wuakaka... so whoever wants a wife, i'm here! (gosh i'm just toooooo over...)

I just feel sorry for my friend, coz she wasted so much of her time and effort on this guy, but turns out that he's not into her inner beauty, and he's definitely not interested to get a wife. Then i recommend he go back and F*** His Own Ass. what a jerk.

And for my friend, and whoever who's having this kind of problem out there, just be yourself! Don't ever change and degrade yourself for some stupid fellow who don't know how to appreciate you. You deserve a better one!

I kena saman (3)

2005-08-04T17:10:00.000+08:00

After the short group discussion i went to MPPJ to settle the compound. I can't find a parking space near there! It's just so full with people, and everywhere you go is CARS CARS CARS! I finally fedup with all of it, and went into a covered carpark, where i pay 150% more than the usual parking fee. But then it's worth it, i've saved time and petrol. It's so stressful. I nearly finished all my allowance. Think I need to eat maggi for the rest of the month. :'(

I kena saman (2)

2005-08-04T13:32:00.000+08:00

Just found out from friend that IF i go pay up the thing within 7 days they'll reduce the fine to half. hmmmm, i think i might go settle the things tomorrow, since i'll be free. I just don't want this thing to bother me, stay atmy mind for the rest of this month. I'm alright now, think it's just random, and i'm the unlucky one.

Saying bout random, leads me remember the Finale episode of CSI Las Vegas. Quintin Terantino (is it spelled like this?) directed, and it's very bloody. Blood splashing here and there, and it's quite enjoyable to watch it. Suspense, and the one that acted Nick is very good. He's macho kind of man, but then when in that episode, i can see the fear, and giving up of a ma when you know that you can't live in another 90 minutes. It's like, don't bring the hatred and fear with you when you're saved. Leave it behind.

I think i seriously need to leave something behind my live now. I seriously do.

I kena saman.....

2005-08-04T10:35:00.000+08:00

What a bad day to begin with. Had my breakfast, then went to pick up my car, and found out that I was fined! Blardy hell....... I was fined last evening! At 7.16pm! I'm soooooo frustrated. How can they come to fine at that time? I admit that i parked at yelow line, but then the whole road is full with cars! How come i'm the one that was fines? NOT FAIR! How come I'm the one? This explains why i had bad hair day this morning..... I hate it la...... Then I don't think i'll have enough money to survive until this month end.....

Boon commented that i looked slim FROM BEHIND, but then my waist is THICK. haha, don't this is good or not. My body shape is that, all my limbs are long and lean, but my body is short and fat. haha. I think i need to go more waist sculpture exercise, like belly dance, or just twist my waist. I already lose a few inches here, but i think it's still not enough. I need to work harder!

2005-08-03T16:30:00.000+08:00

努力让自己笑。想开点，让自己好过一点。我有点乱了.........

我们的爱 (Our Love)

2005-08-03T11:50:00.000+08:00

I'm listening to this song right now. It's by FIR, a group from Taiwan. The lead singer's voice is damn nice. I like this song a lot, now only the rythm is good, the words are also quite meaningful. When our love had subside, no matter how i wait for you, you won't be coming back. I cry, I sad, no matter what i do, you won't be coming back either. I'm still waiting, and i will wait for you. This is a sad love song, but i just don't know why, i love it very much. The rhytm is very nice, and te arrangement is nice. Her voice is sooo strong, makes me think of Evanescence's Amy Lee. Both of them can just hit the high notes, and stay there for long! So powerful, their voice. I keep repeating this song over and over again, and each time i notice something new. I will never get bored over this song.

I love my life! Feel so happy when i smelled freshly cut grass this morning. It's so refreshing. This morning's weather's not that good, wind is strong, and i thought it's taufan coming, but it's just the haze. So hazy, that i thought it's a storm! this's going to kill me........

2005-08-02T21:26:00.000+08:00

Just back from the tang lang chuan class, and suddenly feel like going for the tai chi class also, which is taught byt he same instructor. I think if i force myself to go for the classes, i can at least get some exercise. I really do enjoy the class. Feel like i'm more energetic, and have more control over my own body. I really need to do something bout my body's flexibility. Think my body is very hard.

It's very hazy today around this area, and my eyes' swollen! I'm quite sensitive about this, coz the eyes can't take it. Think some where around this area is burning, coz these few day's weather been very hot and dry. Hope nothing serious over there.

2005-08-02T15:06:00.000+08:00

This is weird. I don't know what should I'd be doing, and life's just like a big circle. Everything is just so routine. I wake up, uni, part time, back, msn, chat, sleep. I know this kind of life won't be long, coz there's only another 3 months before i graduate. But then, i'm already very sick and bored with this kind of life. I wanna go meet more people, I wanna go do the things i love. But what i like? I have no idea now. I thought that the things that I've chosen is really the things that I want, but then, for now I'm in doubt. Is this really what i want? I mean, am I going to be like this for the rest of my life? I have no idea.

What should I do next?

Another week, another day

2005-08-01T18:06:00.000+08:00

Walking by the road side, was on my way to the earliest class this morning. Saw a lot of pretty pink flowers on the floor, and makes me wonder: life is so short, for the flowers that might be a few days, after pollination, they'll just fall off. The main purpose of their life is to have offspring. Just for a few days. Then came back to the same question: what's the main purpose of human's life? I mean, we'll have to leave everything in this life when we're dead. There's nothing that we can bring with us. We come here epmty handed, go off also empty handed. We keep going after things that in the end we'll have to leave it here. So why bother? Am I too over a bit? It's this all we can do?I think i need to sleep. This is just not me. How can i think like this? I shouldn't. The purpose of a human's life of coz is not just to have offspring (but I can't help thinkig like this!) , we have more purposes in life than to have babies.
I'm lost now. I really don't know what should i do now. What's the purpose of my life? Is this all I do? What should i do? I really am lost now, in a dilemma. I wanted to further studies, but then there's so much problem, morevver i still haven't decide what i wanna do. i've thought a lot of things, wanted to do gene theraphy, wanted to do human genetic diseases, a lot more, but all sounds like too hard to achieve. Everyone say you won't know unless you try, but then it's bound to fail, will you still go try? I have never had this kind of feelings before. But now I just feel tired and disappointed, lose self confidence, felt like i'm going to lose everything. I really don't know what will or what can i do. In one word, i'm lost.

Should I waste all my time thinking what should i do with my life, or should i just follow any path that lies in front of me, since our time here is just so short..... but i should just strive for the best! I know i can do better in my life! I will do better in life. I know i can.

new wardrobe, new bed - A new beginning

2005-08-01T01:13:00.000+08:00

I've got myself a wardrobe and a bed this weekend, and both of them are from ikea! Ikea's having sales now, so both the items are 100 cheaper! I'm so happy! I've been eyeing the wardrobe for quite some time, but don't have the money to buy. But since now they're having sales, i might as well buy it than later regret that i haven't. I have to thank tthe future brother in law, who's kind enough to let me swipe his Ikea's friends credit card! And i only have to pay him back next month. Good deal~~~ happy happy! Now i have a new wardrobe which is big enough to stuff all my things ( and i do have A LOT of things! ) i can sleep on a bed, and i'm very satisfied with all this. At last a big wardrobe! I can't imagine i just buy it without much consideration. But then, i just wanna be comfortable with my life. It's not that i'm not good now, just that i'll feel more comfortable and relax if there's a bed for me, and all the stuffs can just go into a big wardrobe, so i don't have to see them everyday, and be troubled by all of it. And boy boy, i do have a lot of things, that di really don't know how can i chuck it all inside the cupboard. Think i'm going to rearrange my room, and hopefully i can be contended with it. I love ikea!

I'm Full

2005-07-30T00:24:00.000+08:00

This is the first time i worked so late in these 2 months. I start work at 9.30am and I went back at 8.45pm (officially it's 7.30pm, coz need to wait for ah boon for dinner) Gosh I've worked 10 hours today! This is really not me! But what to do? I can't finish the things, really need to work more hours. Luckily there'll be another permanent worker coming on monday, really hope he can handle some of it. But then, if he can handle evrything, then they won't need me anymore. I wonder will they fire me? But i need more cash ler...... really hope they won't do that, if not, how am I going to find my fees?

Went to the very famous Kim Gary for dinner. I ordered peanut butter and condensed milk waffle as recomended by ah boon, boy it's GOOD~~~~!! I feel sooooo 幸福 when i had the first bite.... (how to express in english?? i don't know any word that can express my feelings) .....the waffle just melt inside of my mouth, the peanut butter stays on my tongue, plus the condensed milk, it's just perfect... boon said i look like i'm doing an advertisement, eat like that, with that kind of emotion. I mean, it's such a blessing that you can have good food, and i am that kind that will choose food over any other thing else. I just can't resist the temptation! it's just sooooo good..... i can't help myself! But then it's quite thick though, i can't finish the whole thing. I feel full when i finished half of it only. I definitely gonna eat that againn, but share with another person though.

Once again i need to say out loud : MY DRIVING SKILLS SUCKS! I can't even do a side parking properly! I really can't. I can't I can't I can't! I'm not skillful! I just don't know why, when i reversed into the space, half of the car is on the road. Only half of the car is inside the space. How can this happen? I'd done a perfectly well one before with the direction of ju ching, but then without someone shouting beside me 'turn here, go straight, turn right.....', i don't think i can manage a side parking..... copy lisense...... i'm just not skillful...... ah well, there's always straight parking anyway, so won't bother much bout this, kaka

2005-07-29T16:55:00.000+08:00

I just feel like dropping here to write somethng eventhough i'm so damn busy. Feel like my arse is burning now. Listening to some songs, ad feel like, sigh.... Why do i keep feeling lonely these few days? though i'm chatting with some friends, i just can't help feeling lonely.... even a tiny little song can trigger the sad gene inside me.... i mean, what's wrong with me? why do i always feeling like this? think i just have to blame it all on te hormone...... sucks! i hate when i'm like that! i wanna go shopping!!!!

2005-07-28T21:08:00.000+08:00

I've been working long hours today, i just don't know how can i survive until back home. There's a lot of work, and i need to finish it all, but maybe it's because I didn't do fast enough, now there's a lot of work stack until now need to finish. I just don't know how to finish it all, think need to work more than 8 hours tomorrow.

My sister commented about the title of this blog, becoming a sex bomb, haha. She keep fussing that it's not appropriate, haha. It's just so fun! I wanna transform myself into a totally different person from wat am I now. I don't know why i have this kind of thinking, but one thing for certain is that I'm tired of my looks now. I hope i can become a bit different. This is what i wanna do for the time being, and I don't know what i can do now, except this. It's like I'm sick. Like those girls who's very crazy about losing weight, why they can become aneroxia, because the consumption of food is the only thing that they can control, other than that every other thing is not in their hand, so they get contended as they can control the food that they eat, and the food that they throw up. It's some mentality that's haunting them.

Basically i just don't know what the heck have i writen. My mind is like jelly now, i can't think , i just wannac lose my eyes. They're so swollen that they are bigger than eggs. Don't know what happened? After i took off my contacts they're like this. Hope it's not infection. I hate to wear specs back.

hmm, suddenly remembered an incident. I went overnight at my sister's place last few days, and the next morning i noticed that i forgot to bring along my makeup case! And the first thought that cross my mind is, i don't have any brow pencil and mascara! I haven't know that i'm so dependent on brow pencil and mascara. I don't wanna be seen with my short brow, and my unflattering eye lashes. I just feel so naked without mascara! If anyone tell me that this would be my reaction last fe months if i don't have mascara, i will laugh at them! But know i totally understand why there're some girls who won't step out of their house without makeup. This just don't feel me! hmm, think this is a good change, i hope. Then next time i will include lip gloss.

2005-07-27T14:59:00.000+08:00

I'm listening to all those sad love songs by Penny and Fish Leong, suddenlly I just feel sad and lonely, while I'm working in a jam pack full office! don't know why, i just feel like that. Maybe I should start to find myself another man, haha. But then, I don't think that's the problem. t's my wn feeling, my own thinking. I can be happy and lively, and embrace my life as i haven't done before. It's just my own attitude. I will never be the one I am now if that haven't happen. I feel contended with life now, and Iim doing some other plannings for it. I hope i can meet with more new friends, tha can change my life. Some of them already are my friends, then some that i met recently is really changing my life. Thanks to you all! They are some online friends, who i can chat nonstop. The weirdest thing is, i havent met any of them! But we're planning for a gathering, and i know i'll love them. They're just like me, trying to lose weight all the while. haha. They really cherish my life, and make me know that,there's still a lot of other things other than coupledom (eventhough I aready knew that, but somehow, aiya how to say? like that la!) Thanks to all my friends and family!

This is weird...

2005-07-26T20:02:00.000+08:00

I'm kida late for today's work, but since i'm part timer, i'm working flexible hours. When I step into the lift, there's this good looking guy who's in office wear, had his tie wrap around his neck as if it's a shawl! I can't hide my amazement, but then, it's kinda rude for me to stare at him for a long while, and i just pretend that there's nothing special or wrong with him. The funny thing is his style is as if he's very yao ying and handsome! I just wanna laugh, but then it'll be very rude of me if i did that.

The work load is quite a lot, and i start to wonder whether I'm a perfectionist. I want everything to be done as quickly as possible, and i want to fininsh everything in a day! I can't leav the work undone or unattended to, and I'll be very sorry and sad if I've made any mistakes. I really do think I'm a perfectionist now. i can't tolerate anything that is not perfect, and I think I'm a control freak! I don't want to turn into a freak! I'm like I can't tolerate anything which is not under my control, that's a good point that Im' a control freak. hmm, really think i need to let go. Just let go, then i think i'll be much better, less stress, less trouble. Really need to do sth bout my attitude and temper. I don't wanna turn into my mother!

2005-07-25T22:48:00.000+08:00

I went back ipoh last weekend, and that's constant eating! Every hour every minute i'm thinking of eating all the nice food in Ipoh! And i'm sure i gained weight. haha. But then, it's still worth it, coz the food in Ipoh is just GREAT!

Been a busy day today, got class till 4, then came back clean up a bit, wanted to have a nap, but my head is just so painful that i can't close my eyes! I just don't know why. I hope i can sleep later.

I haven been exercising last whole week, and i hope i'll do some form of exercise this week. My grandma keep saying that I'm so skinny alr, and I musn't diet anymore! But then, i do hopw i look more fit and fab! So i'll keep on my exercise plan, and hope i can achieve the bod i want.

2005-07-22T00:58:00.000+08:00

I met with my group of coursemate just now for supper. Boy I'm full! I just had half portion of cheese naan, then a mango special (which is mango ice blended with longan, laichi, watermelon cubes and nata de coco) The food is good, and we are only sitting by the road! It's bit weird though, coz again i'm the only chinese among a group of malays. I'm not being racist or what, i really enjoy with this group of friends. Most of them are very intelligent, and they have good vision of what to do with their future. They are not like the typical malays that need the help of the government to pass, i mean THEY ARE SMART, the exceptions. I like them. Then one of them commented that `I look different', hmm, it's the best compliment i got so far, coz I do look different from few months ago. What have i changed? Basically i'm just without my glasses, had a new hair cut, and a little bit slimmer. That makes me whole lot different from the past me. And i think it has to do with my attitude. I'm more charismatic now i guess, hahahaha.

Another thing is, I noticed that I'm such a lousy driver, a lousy side parking driver to be precise. I've used nearly 5 minutes to park my car into a side slot, which can be consider quite big compare to my little car. And now my arms and shoulder blade is aching! I really don't know how to do side parking! I'm bad! I just can't find the correct angle and park my car in. Think i really need more practice in this, moreover the car is so small, i shouldn't have any problem parking it. Ah well, think the onclusion will still be the same : I'm a lousy driver. The End.

2005-07-21T18:37:00.000+08:00

I'm walking on a tar road which has just finished layered, i can still feel ths softnest of the road, as iff i'm going to step a whole on it, as if i'm going to slip down. It's just so weird the feeling, coz we always step on hard surfaces, and we have the solid feeling under our feet. But just now i feel like i'm going to drown. It's just weird, it's not like you step on a soft bed, it's just like you're being pull down, like a quick sand.

Been eating Twiggies while i'm driving just now, and it suddenly struck me that accidents happened on the road are mostly caused by people who eat and drive! Think i shouldn't be doing that next time. I'm just too hungry just now!

Ouch!

2005-07-20T19:58:00.000+08:00

As usual I was doin all the uploading and stuffs like that in the office, with my mp3 on. (btw, it's wokring now, and i hope there'll be no more problems) My supervisor suddenly drop by my cell, and tole me that i looked a bit darker and flushed compare to the usual me. Gosh! I'M DARKER? How could it be! I've just walked under the sun for less than 30 minutes today! How could this happening to me? I'm already dark, now when i'm darker, i just don't know what can i do alr. I think every night i'll do whitening mask, that should help a little bit i guess.

How rude

2005-07-20T10:46:00.000+08:00

I'm walking at the corridor, then a junior come up to me and ask : "wei, where is XXX seminar room?" I was like, har? Can't you be a little bit more polite? I know she's a first year from the booklet that she's holding, and only juniors will ask questions as where's this and where's that. I mean, this is your first year here, and i definitely look much older than a first year right? (but I hope not....) At least ask the question in a more polite manner la. I do not owe you anything leh.....

Then when I'm having my breakfast just now, the girl sat next to me keep coughing. I know the weather's bad, and a lot of people fall sick, but can't you just cover you mouth or look some where else when you're coughing? I'm EATING there leh! With my fried bihun exposed to all the bacteria and viruses that was carried by her, i don't when will i get sick too! I just don't know why i keep experiencing this kind of things today. What an unpleasant morning, and this is only 10.45am. I just don't know how can i continue with this day when i'm so moody and gloomy. I thought only mondays will make me gloomy, but seems like today will also be a gloomy day, when the first thing in this morning is rain! It's not that I don't like the rain, just that it'd caused massive jam, and i'm 10 minutes late today. I always feel bad when i'm late for class, it's just not me. I rather skip the class if i'm late!

I do notice i'm not that into study anymore. I've got loads of work for me to do, 2 short essays, one assignment, and another group assignment, but i just don't have the heart to start doing things right now. I'm actually still in the holiday mood! I just wanna leave everything and start going off to places and do things that i loved (i mean shopping... haha) And by the way, the malaysian shopping carnival will start on this Sunday 24th of July! Can't wait to go shop shop shop!

Anyone know tang lang chuan?

2005-07-19T21:33:00.000+08:00

Tang Lang Chuan, if directly translate from mandarine, is `praying mantis fist' (I hope this is right). I've just gone to the extra curricular class, which is tang lang chuan. It's fun, for i've never done anything like this before. But i don't think i can learn a lot in 14 weeks of classes. The teacher is quite long winded, he talks a lot, haha. But then, one can still see he's very active and energetic. I hope i can belike that when i'm old, that's why i need to exercise a lot. Think i really need to have a more disclipline life style, so that i won't be eating like mad every time i see nice food! I just can't control my mouth!

This is slow man!

2005-07-19T14:07:00.000+08:00

Been trying to upload my work to the server, but DAMN it's slow! How can i work efficiently if the most basic thing is not here? I jst can't take it anymore. I'm so frustrated. Sigh, can they just make it a little bit faster? I wonder what's other ppl doing right now?

Been back to ipoh, then back to kl again. I'm quite tired these few days, and i don't know how long can i make it. I feel like sleepoing right now. How i hope there's a pillow here! I just feel disappointed and frustrated, thats' all.

Went for Fantastic 4 on snuday with my elder sister, and that movie 's goood. It's funny, and i do really enjoy watching it. The ablities of them followed their attitude and character. Really makes me think, can human do alter our genes? Then those that do not have the chance to alter, wont have any special gifts? THen the world will be chaos. Ah well, i'm thinking of writing an essay on the rae of humans on patenting the human genes. I have to do more research in it before i can really start to write anything. Have to generate 2 essays forthis course, and i hope i can do it fast.

I'm Back!

2005-07-15T19:59:00.000+08:00

After waited more than 45 minutes for the delayed bus at lrt station, i finally boarded it. And 2 and a half hours later, i finally reached IPOH! My hometown! Don't know why leh, i really anticipate this trip. I've never had this kind of feelings before, coz maybe this time my sister's comign back from penang also. haha. Straight after my mum picked my up from the bus stand, i went for a hair cut! And it's nice! My new hair cut is nice! Eventhough i didn't have any colour done on it, but it suits my face perfectly. This is the first time that i had a hair wash sna message for more than 15 minutes. I'm so relaxed during it, and nearly fall asleep, haha. The services here are much cheaper compared to KL, and i plan to come back here more often for the trimmings. Just hope that when i do the colour next time the style is still here. Just love the new me!

2005-07-14T19:21:00.000+08:00

I've fumbled through my digicam, then only i notices there's a few pics that I didn't remember that i've taken bdfore! It's my sister, when we're in the hotel one day earlire before her registration in USM. And now the 2nd week is nearly finished. Hope she can really get through all this, and make a lot of new friends. She tole me on msn that she cried when she's reading my blog, think she's home sick. I've been through that too during the first few months of my stay in the hostel, but then after you have a group of friends that's sloce to you, you don't even wanna come back home!

Am I lucky or what?

2005-07-14T18:27:00.000+08:00

As usual, i skipped class. I'm thinking of dropping this course later , so it doesn't make any difference if i go today. Besides, it's 8am class! And i don't have any other class after that. Might as well skip it and sleep more. I'm a lazy pig, i know that, and I just love food!

Met with some new online friends today. It's like, one friend intro another, so basically I'll meet a few friends per week. It's nice la, to know more friends, at least when i online i won't be that bored. And most of the days i keep chatting with these few that click with me. The way we talk is like we've known each other for ages! It's fun, really fun.we can talk bout anything! When there're more members, you can't have wnough time to finish all the messages! It's so fast! They're my weigh lose buddies. We remind each othe rof our date, and we'll work hard on it. I"m working hard, so hopefully i'll look more pretty when i meet them next month.

It's raining heavily when i left the office, and i suddenly remembered i've washed my clothes, and forgot to took it all back in........... i'm in a very frustated mood when i'm driving, some more it's raining heavily, the road is slippery, and i'm driving like a lunatic. What else can i do? I hand wash everything! I have to! there's no machine here, and I'm a cheapo that will not send my clothes to laundry. But then, I'm lucky. The rain is not heavy at my place, and my clothes are still dry! haha, think today is my lucky day man! should go buy 4D or TOTO later. haha

Suddenly remembered the little girl of my mum's friend. She's 4 years old, and she's smart. A very lovely little girl, who's not shy to ask for something that she wants. She's so adorable! I've taken her as my god daughter, and straight away she call me mummy, haha. And she mention loudly that she got 3 mummies (her biological mother, the mum's sister whom she also called mummy, and ME!), and 3 also loved her very much. Such a smart kid. Hope she'll progress, and do well in her future!

Why oh why?

2005-07-13T23:30:00.000+08:00

My mp3 player is not working, and this is the 2nd time I've plug it into my comp! It's xp, and it doesn't need any driver, but the 2nd time it can't recognized the device. I don't know what to do with it anymore! I actually wanted to add more music in, but looks like I can't do it for the time being. Think i'll attach it to another comp, hope it'll work. What's wrong? It's working find for the first time, but what had happened now? Weird...... jinx? Anyone here has the benq mp3 player's driver? I can't open the cd. Just hope it's not one time usage. I'm scared it's spoilt when the time my dad bought it.

Been a busy day! Went to uni arounf 7.30 am, coz there's a 8am class for me. It's quite boring though, but for the sake of graduating this semester, i'll bear with it for another 14 weeks. It's not long, i think i'll be fine. The 2nd class was Dr Thiru's class, which is sth bout policies in science and technology. His class is always fun, and he can talk and talk non stop, and you won't feel bored. The last class which is plant biotech, sucks. The lecturer is a new post-doc, who doesn't quite know how to teach. And the subject is so boring! And he kept glorifying biotech students! It's like any other major in the science falculty is just plain s**t to him! How can he say like that? I mean, biotechnology is just the application of what we molecular biologist are researching on. If therere no people like us, they don't have a clue what they can do! I'm a bit pissed off by his attitude. And i nearly fall asleep during his class. Maybe i've learned the things that he taught in class, so i really don't have any interest in whatsoever things that he's trying to pass onto us.

I'm on my way to the car this evening, and there's a very pretty lady walking in front of me. her dress is nice, and she's walking on a 2 inches high heels. then sudden;y she's making some noises, loud noise i mean, and spat directly in front of me! I got so shock! Imagine a girl who's so perfect on the outside look, but i have to say no to her manners. She doesn't know how to carry herself nicely! Gosh! I'm shock man! The thing that she did is totally different from her apperance. Once again, never judge a book by it's cover. This saying is just so true!

Met with Tengku and gang for breakfast, we talked a lot. Quite fun and happy when i'm talking with them, and i don't even feel a bit ackward when i'm there, since i'm the only chinese there, and they're all malays. Tengku is very smart, and i admire her a lot. Same goes wwith Lyan. Smart and hard working! I'm just a lazy pig, if compared to them. haha. it's ok la, since Lyan is so hard working, i can copy all her notes and things! especially near exams, i really need her help. Thank you lyan! And had dinner with yin and kun, but ching is not here, if not we can be back the same four little girls when we first met in the hostel when we're all first year. Time passed so fast ler, now i'm an extended student, and now panicking about my future. guess i really need to work hard for this semester la.

2005-07-13T00:16:00.000+08:00

I've been reading all my past posts in this blog, and found out a few things:

1. I can be very funny if i wanted to
2. I'm always complaining
3. I'm obsessed with FOOD and losing weight
4. I still think I'm pretty wuakakakakaka!

Going to meet 3 of my best friends tomorrow for dinner. They're the ones that accompany me during my first year of uni life in the hostel. Without them, I won't be the one I am today. They make my life wonderful! And they're the ones that accompany me when I'm down and sad. I'll always cherish them. They're angels to me!

And still they haven't pay me

2005-07-12T15:24:00.000+08:00

I've been working part time in this company for the past 1 and a half month, and whill they haven't pay me my salary. It's just few hundrend ringgit, not few thousands! I wonder what had happened to the company. Why they're taking 2 weeks to get my pay cheque ready. I'm just scared that i won't get it. So i didn't go there today, infact i'm very free today, i could have spent the time there key in all the content. I rather don't. I just felt like i've been used, and that's kinda sad experience. Supposedly this kind of big company should have enough money right? I just can't help wondering. This is driving me crazy man! Basically I'm broke now, and without the pay cheque, i don't think i can survive long. Eventhough i got it today, it needs 3 days clearance. Sigh, can they be more considerate? I mean, i do not earn much, it's only few hundred, and they still wanna drag the payment. I hate this. Eventhough last time when i work as a temperory teacher, i didn't get my pay like for 3 months, but then, it's a government job, and i know i will sooner or later get my money. But now this is a different situation! I've bug my supervisor for 2 weeks, but still everyday they're going to give me lame excuse like, the person in charge not in, we need her signature, bla bla bla. I just hate this. My salary is alr so less, then it's been drag for 2 weeks. What should i do? I really have no idea alr. This sucks.

UM sucks

2005-07-11T23:05:00.000+08:00

It seems like every starting of the semester i'll say the same thing, which is UM sucks. The registration process sucks, there's no coordination between all the lecturers, and the process of registration is just sickening. I thought this is my last semester, it'll be alright, but it is not!!! I'm so headache. They forbid us take one course, on the first day of the class! They shoul've told us earlier, or state it in the time table it's not open for other student, than cancel us all off on the first day of class! How can they do this kind of irresponsible thing? My whole time table gone hay wire! I need to adjust everything. It's ok for me to arrange again, but the biggest problem is, every course is FULL! ALL FULL!!! where can i find a course to take? Obviously the falculty has taken in way too much students, if not there won't be any problem regarding the registration. I just hate to go through this once more. I'ts sickening. I wanna puke. I'm having severe headache. Why can't they just let me through for the last semester? WHy do they have to make my life so damn miserable? I can't take this anymore. It's so dman hard for them to state down the prerequisition? I hate this all la!!

Shopping shopping shopping!

2005-07-11T12:10:00.000+08:00

Been shopping for these few days, damn broke now. Bought myself a lot of things, and most importantly CHEAP things. haha. Been to Sungai Wang on saturday, wanted to do massage, but then was given a very very poor reception, and feed back review is not good, and promise myself I'll never go there again. Then shop for the whole day at Sg Wang, bought some items that I like, and got to see some really hot chics there. Sg Wang is actually holding the Miss Active Fasio (the cosmetic brand, Fasio, which is the subsidiary company of Kose) that day, and there're 15 contestant there. SOme of them are very pretty and active, and you can actually see from the way they dance and move their body. And there's a group af performers, whom i belive is personal trainers performed a dance, the girls there have abs man! I mean really abs! You can see the defination of the muscles on her body, and really can see the lines of her abs. So envy me ler...... i and wonder how many hours that she actuall work out to get that kind of body. In the middle of their dance, they started to throw freebies, and that particular thing hit the head of the man behind my sister (and the funny this is, he's BALD), my sister just ran over there, bend down, and pick up the thing, say thankyou, and did a small curtsy to the man, who's still blur. He opened his eyes so wide and watched my sister in astonishment, while rubbing his head. The situation is so funny, and i can't stop laughing all the way back! There're of coz some girls who wanted the gift, but then, maybe they're just too paiseh to bend down to take it like that,since it hits a man's head before hand. Later we went to check out the price, and it's more than RM50! Lose face a bit can get free things, worth it what.

Then later we went to the Guardian warehouse sales, and i get more cheap things there. I'm those who will only buy things on sales, and especially warehouse sales. But ther, i've got te tendency to buy things that i won't be using, or use a few times only. I've limit myself to buying just few items that i'm sure i'll use, and mose importantly, cheap. Got a few eye shadows, 2 way cake, sally hansen nair polish and remover, all cheap. I'm very happy and contended. And i got myself a new watch the other day! THis weekend only spend spend spend! Really need to control myself a little bit, if not I don't think i'll have enough money to last till the end of the month.

Felt very lucky. Coz i still have my sister's there for me when i'm down, and when i don't have anyone else there for me. The last i can say, family first. They are not going to leave and dump you when you're in trouble. Lucky me for my sisters and friends, i can get out of the self pity and misery so fast. I love them all!

MyVi is CUTE~~

2005-07-08T14:44:00.000+08:00

I'm on my way to work this morning, then suddenly I saw a very cute car, in lime metallic green parked at the side of the road. Then I realised it's MyVi by Perodua. It's so cute! I'm so happy when I have a look at it. I feel so happy just looking at it, the colour just makes me wanna smile. I'm going to influence every relative of mine to buy that, coz it''s really cute cute cute! Compare to the S**vy that was produced by Proton, MyVi is so much more cute, and it looks more durable. I've see and listen to a lot of the S**vy advertisement, and I'm looking forward to have a real good alook at it. I had a chance last week, and I'm really very very disappointed. The interior of that car look flimsy, and the design is not nice, and all the compartments look like wanna fall off like that, eventhough it's a display car, it should at least have a more durable look right. I rather buy the MyVi, eventhough i haven't try the car before, but I have more confidence in Perodua cars, (maybe coz I'm driving a Kancil?) and I can see the distinct difference in the quality of Kancil and Wira. I always prefer perodua cars cars. haha.

That's GOOD.

2005-07-07T20:57:00.000+08:00

Had a very long chat with my housemate this afternoon, she's clearing her stuff. This is actuall our first chat. It's like she's busy with her work, and i'm always not around, it's hard for us to just sit down and chat, not like the days when all my friends ar still studying. We talked bout how FAT we were last time, and I took out my IC and driving license, and I just can't stop thinking:GOSH, I'm more pretty now, wuakaka. And she's the second one compliment me today that i look more pretty than before. wuakakakakaka. Happy man. I do look bit chubby in my IC, that's taken when i'm teaching in a primary school after form6 (that's like, 3 years ago?) , then comparing to my form5 photo which is in my driving license, i do look more pretty and slimmer now.

wuakaka, who said I'm not pretty? I AM PRETTY WAT.

haha

KFC!

2005-07-07T17:30:00.000+08:00

It's been such a long time since I've taken KFC. Went to the KFC near the uni to meet up with Siok yee and Swit Kuan for lunch, boy i didn't meet them after our last paper in Bangunan Peperiksaan some where 4 months ago? Can't remember. Any where, got a compliment from Swit Kuan that i look slimmer, wuahahahaha. Happy happy. At least those that didn't see for quite some time notice that i'm a little little bit thinner. I didn't take fried chicken, but instead i have nuggets, cheesy wedges (large one), and whipped potato (also large). I'm full! Potatoes really can make you full eh. I don't know that there's SO MUCH people there in the afternoon! That KFC is realy in a strategic place. In the middle of my meal, came Lyan! Then the four of us chit chat there, trying to catch up with each other (also some gossips of our ex coursemates). This is really fun, haveing a group of friends around you, and you have the time to meet with them. It will be harder for us to meet up after my sem starts, and when they all found jobs. I really do enjoy this meal, eventhough it's very fattening. I do look more pretty, didn't I?

Sze just sent me this.

I think this is a photo that we took when we're having our lunch at Swiss in Greentown there. I don't quite remember when was it, but hmm, i do look more pretty now, wuakaka. Later i'll post it up ya, my recent photos, after i have my haircut, coz now I look horrible!

CSI

2005-07-06T22:50:00.000+08:00

I'm now in the process of downloading as much CSI series as i can. Just watched 2 episodes. I remembered my mum asked me suddenly one day : ei, the things that you studied ar, is it like those that in CSI ar? For the first time, my mother knows what the heck i studied. It feels good. I'm very into these series, it's so exciting! Trying to figure out what happened, and who's the killer. But my first love is still CSI, the other two series, CSI Miami and CSI New York, hmm, it's not that i don't like them, it's just that I'm too attracted to Grissom (is it spell like this?) He's so man! Am I attracted to old wise guys? Am I am I? Gosh i have no idea

The thing do works

2005-07-06T15:09:00.000+08:00

I try to make it a habit to fill in my brows and apply mascara everyday. I noticed that my lashes are longer than it used to be! Happy leh. The product that some forumers intro is really working, and it works best if used together with the lengthening mascara. For the past 2 months, i apply the lengthening protein onto my lashes every night, but without using the masara. I just started to use both product day and night last week, and my lashes are way longer, eventhough with the help of the night protein they're a bit longer. Hmm, this is good. Will ask my sister to work harder, don't be lazy. It's just great. At last i have a little bit of eyelashes that can be curled using eyelash curler. haha. sorry for this, i'm just too happy.

I might be going back to ipoh this weekend, since my sister might be going back too. I miss her a lot, and feel a bit sad, for it's hard for me to meet her up in the future, since she's in penang, and i'm in KL. I went to check the air ticket price in air asia, and it cost quite a lot, around 150 for return ticket too. The bus ticket only cost around 25. Taking flight is more comfortable i guess, but it's way too expensive for a student. Ah well, i need to talk to her though, just hope she'll be back this weekend, and i can go back meet her, before my last semester starts.

Visited the Loreal Paris China webpage. Try to find out which makeup suits my skin condition, but didn't gain much, except there's a few video clips that teaches u how to makeup. But the one that was taught in Lancome Taiwan site is much easier, and less fuss. It's so easy that u see ppl applying makeup, and when it's done by yourself, it's disastrous! I really think i need more practice. I sure do. As the saying goes, there's not ugly woman, just lazy woman. I'll work hard to become more pretty! Not to say i'm not pretty now, i'm pretty, but there's a little bit of flaws here and there, and i'm going to work hard to correct it.

I need motivation!

2005-07-05T19:14:00.000+08:00

Been quite slack these few days, ate a lot, then didn't exercise a bit. LEt me see, according to my diary, the last time that i exercise is 2 weeks ago! How can i lose weight if i continue ot be like this? Sister's here for a week, then later meet fish fish, then prepare to go penang with sis. I'd a date with some of the online forum members to meet up one month later, to compare our results. I don't wanna still be like this, without any change. I really need a change! Btw, Sze said something that it's the first time that she saw me letting down my hair when i picked her up yesterday, is it so? I never let my hair down? How awful and sad. What's the use of me keeping my hair, if i never let it down? I need a hair cut, badly. I really think that if my hair cut is good, no matter what i do with my hair it'll still look good. My sister's hairstylist commented my hair will be very flat and lifeless if i do rebonding, coz i don't have thick hair. What can i do now? Need to find good hair stylist, then can give me a good cut. Then i have to pay a lot. sigh. This is the price. You want good service, you have to pay. Or should i just cut it short? What else can i do? Colour it? That will cost more. I'm just a poor student, can't afford all that. Think i just need to spend on the hair cut, other than that, i'll wait, until i have more money.

USM is good! but then.................................

2005-07-02T23:34:00.000+08:00

My younger sister manage to get into USM, so the 3 Lee sisters and the mother went to penang and stayed at the nearest hotel for 1 night, and sent my sister there this morning. I have to say, me and my elder sister went from KL to ipoh, then after had our lunch and pick up my mum and sister, went to penang straight yesterday. The we drove back ipoh this evening, and will be back to KL tomorrow afternoon. It's like, most of the time we spent is on the car, driving. I'm really tired, but i just can't sleep.

USM is rated as the top university in malaysia in the academic field. But then, the condition of the hostel that my sis is staying is just so bad. The room is dirty, the furnitures are old, the toilets are filthy. I knos i shouldn't be complaining, but i'm doing the comparison, of hostel that i stayed last time in UM, and the hostel that my sis's staying now. They never upgrade or up keep the place. she's the youngest in the family. everything is well organised and well prepared fro her. my sister really can't suit herself there. she just smsed me telling me she missed us all, and she missed KL. i'm kinda worried bout her, with her temper and attitude, really hope she can make a realy good bunch of friends there,a dn she'll start enjoy the hostel and campus life. and another thing, the quality of the student helpers there are low. i can't understand why they want to find some students who are not good in the command of english. i know i'm being prejudice, and i asked too much, but at least they understand what the f*** i'm saying, and can answer me in preper english. i mean, kinda disappointed with them. is the the quality of local grads? then later when i graduate and go to find work, is this the impressoin that i'm going to give to my future employers? how are they going to evaluate me? I don't wanna be like that! (in the mean time i'm kinda thank you my mother and my tuition teacher for stressing the IMPORTANCE of english) i hope i have good market value. At least i have a good command of english, i hope. haha

shu uemura eyelash curler

2005-06-29T23:19:00.000+08:00

Met up with my coursemate Lyan for dinner just now. We had roaster chicken! The muffin is just soooooooooo nice. It's so chocalatey, and so soft and warm..... feel xin fu when i just had a bite. i think i can finish half a dozen, haha. Wanted to buy some for my housemates, but then they'd run out of it, so maybe next time la, i can treat them to nice, warm chocolate muffins. We had some small talk, mostly bout our ex and current coursemates. And again i feel a bit sad, how come people can be so childish and naive, that they judge people by their results? sigh.... we are coursemates la, they can't even give a smile and a hello when saw each other in the hall. I really don't understand it. Is results so important? Is it thatbeing one of the `in' crowd that important? I'm sad and frustrated. Coz i've always been getting this kind of treatment from all those so called students with good results. They make me feel like i'm a piece of trash, coz i'm not as good as they are. When i talk to them they constantly make me feel small, and i start to hate myself for being manipulated by them. Maybe they didn't mean anything, but i just feel that way. I hope i can have more confidence in myself. I know i'm good, coz I AM GOOD. it's just that i'm bad in choosing the subjects that i have, that's all, haha.

Got myself a shu uemura eyelash curler! Been eyeing that for a long time, since i've been using lash lengthening thingy, and suddenly my lashes are long enough for me to curl! haha. happy bout this, so will practice using it for sometime first before i really use it. as u can see, i'm a damb ass when it's related to makeup. really need to pump up my skills on this.

I'm melting

2005-06-29T16:43:00.000+08:00

It's so hot today! I can't even go out for a while. Luckily i came back home early today. Part time for a shirt while, cannot stand the network, so came back. Need to wait for the previous tenant to come back to pack her things. But then, it's only the movers ( i should say mover, coz there's only 1 person came) came. How can he a lone take so many things? There's a big cupboard, a queen size matress, a table, a 29 inch tv and stand, a lot of clothes, etc etc etc. She only disclosed that she has a matress and a cupboard that need to be shifted. The mover didn't even bring a trolley! It's like, if you have that much things, be honest and tell. If not how can people arrange your things and move for ya? It's like, she keep blaming the chief tenant for not packing her things for her, and she keep saying ` didn't XX said she's packed EVERYTHING for me?' wah lau! as if the chief tenant your mother la! Do everything for you la! you didn't pay the rent alr ok, and she let you put your things in the unit, she can (i mean WE, i'm staying here right now) just throw everything out of the unit! But then, she did ask for my help, and i'm willing to help, as long as it don't use up soo much of my time. I wasted 2 wednesday afternoon for her, just stuck inside the room waiting for her movers to come. Last week is he don't know how to come, now the 2nd time is she didn't disclose everything to the movers, and he can't carry everything all by himself. I wonder what would happen next time. She didn't have the time to come? Or there's something else that she needs to take? Or she wants to leave everything here? I do wonder. C'mon la. Be honest. Just disclose everything! Let people have the time to plan ahead. Not only for the movers, for me too! Coz i'm the only one FREE for the time being, haha.

How can she do it?

2005-06-28T19:09:00.000+08:00

Just had a bried chat with my chief tenant, she doesn't quite look that old, i mean compare to her actual age. She's look very the same as me, eventhough she's older than my sister. My elder sis actually looked older than her. (I'm so bad!) And then i got another shock, she told me last time her weight is more than 70! Gosh! She's much slimmer than me now! How can she do it? And she lost all the extra pounds in 2 months time, without going to any saloon or took diet food. She just told me, everything that goes into your mouth, will eventually shows on your body, if you don't control. I'm so impressed, she's very discliplined. Can reduce her weight from 70 sth to now 50 ( i think), must be controling the diet very much. I think i need to be like that. Now i have another role model other than ah boon! Really need to disclipline myself to lose weight. I know i'm in my ideal weight, but i wanna look slimmer! seems like my whole life is only losing weight, but i really do enjoy this leh. I love my life!

What a coincidence!

2005-06-28T18:01:00.000+08:00

ok, this is it. I'm sick and tired of the slow conncetion. Why is it the boss sooooooooooo stingy? Imagine there're more than 80 individuals working in that company, and we have to share a mere 1MB line? Everyone's is doing work, and a lot of them is uploading pictures and wallpapers, and i'm there to upload my sms content. How to work? I'm so pissed off these few days, i nearly throw the whole monitor to the floor! It's jus SOOOOO slow! I wait there more than i work, the only hour which is smooth is when EVERYONE in the company went for lunch, then i can upload my things smoothly. How can the boss don;t understand? If the company has a faster internet line, then everyone will be working faster, then when the work's done faster, the company can earn more. Now mosst of us just sat there to wait for a smoother connection, i can say that 70% of the time i'm in office, that's the total time that i just sat there and wait. Everything that i do requires the internet, i can't do anything with internet! sigh, boss ar, we need faster connection ar! it's so slow, how to work? I'm only a part timer, i only work there for 4 hours, imagine those permanent staff, for whols day, just wait! waste so much time and effort.

Just came back from sending a friend to the lrt station, and i met Susan! She's the one that taught me the art of culturing cells, she's the first one to actually exposed me to the lab culture. I'm very grateful to her, and now she's stayong opposite of my unit! Happy to see her, it's like the chinese said `yuan fen', i met her when i'm doing my training in IMR (she's working in the lab where i went tumpang for few days), then now she's staying opposite me. Quite good, i should go find her some other time.

Life is like a bed of roses, is it?

2005-06-27T18:05:00.000+08:00

I've been cracking my head, trying to think of what to do with my life. I've always wanted to further studies, but then there's the $$ problem, then it's quite hard for me. Sad to say my parents have never been supportive on this, and what they want me to do is to gradute faster, and start earning money for them. I've tried very hard to communicate with them, but failed. Everything matters to them is money, not us. I know some of you will scold me for saying this, but this is what happening in my family. A mere degree is more that enough to survive, that's their thinking. But with the course that i studied, it's hard. I wanna continue doing what i love best, but have to compromise, coz $$. And again, i wanna do the things that i like, but without $$, you can't have anything that you want. THis is cruel, i'm sad. But i'm trying my very best to do my part pf research, hope i can get the things i want in my life. I've always been unlucky, hope this time things will be different.

Fish Fish is here!

2005-06-24T10:03:00.000+08:00

At last, ah yu the fish is here! And i got a present from her! Happy happy, long time no see fren alr, so happy to see her. It's been like a year since i see her. Ah well, think this is the time that i can really enjoy.

At last I've decided to straighthen my hair, hope it will turn out alright. But then, now is to think where should i do it? Ipoh or KL? of coz if it's inKL it will cost me more, but i really don't have the time and energy to go back ipoh, not for now. Hope i can really find some time.

Are you happy?

2005-06-22T15:08:00.000+08:00

This is the topic of this morning's kong kai fan woon on 988, Chan Fong, admire him a lot. I heard some ppl phone in to say about the happiness and unhappiness. A guy is happy, coz he can earn 5k a month, compared to 2k 5 years ago. Another woman keeo complaining that her children never share their secrets with her, but when being ask back wheter she'd ever share her secrets with her mother, she snapped : this is a different situation, my mothere NEVER loved me, but i loved my children a lot. I mean, this is not a very valid reason, she keep wanting to know EVERYTHING about her children! This is kinda creepy. Why does she wanna know everything? Such a controlling mother. She said she just wanna know more and care for her children very much, but they just never open up to her. Sigh, this is not good. Children, when they're grown up, they have their own life and their own ways of goin through their life. A mother is there to give love and support, not there to comtrol and know everything of the child. This makes me think of my own mother. Hell, she's the same, controlling in every bit of my life. She keeps bugging me of me whereabouts, my doings, and this is driving me nuts! How can i just drive some sense in her? This is my life, and mum you can't always accompany me. Just your help, support and love is more than enough.

Another woman said she's very happy, coz she's still alive, healthy and energetic. She's diagnosed with secondary cancer more than 10 years ago, but she's still alive now. She's just thank you that she's still alive, and can cherish the love of her family and her children. She's just contended that the fact that she is still alive. Cherish the small things in life, not only big achievements. This will make you feel much better, i guess. I'm kinda like a very easily contended person, i will be very happy just with the small small things that i have in life. My family, my friends, those that teached me some lessons in life, those that hate me etc. I'll cherish them all. When we're contended, we'll be happy. Or that's what i think.

Contended

2005-06-22T00:31:00.000+08:00

Went to petaling street today with my sis, happy. Bought a set of comics (actually a bday present from my sis), then bought a lot of novels! So happy. I've never feel the urge to read comics for such a long time, and the urge to buy ALL the comics back make me feel the rush to earn more money. haha. Just feel contended, coz i can still get the things i want. I'm happy man. so happy, kind felt like i'm still in secondary school, renting comics from the bookshop without my mum knowing it. I really got whacked by my mum when she found it out. This is my childhood, comics, cartoon and novels. Though it's not the same, but i still love comics. Hopefully my friends won't feel that me still bit weird. haha. So old still read comics? I think i can never leave that.

Just had a chat with a uni mate, then sth just struck me. How come ppl will only befriend someone else who has the same results that he or she has? Is this the criteria for choosing friends? I can say i'm not like that (coz I'm not good enough to be the one that choose, i can only become the choosen ones, haha) i can never understand that, though this kind of things is happening everyday around me. I've never been the victim, maybe i'm too happy go lucky, as wyemeng's saying goes : you can't please the whole world, you can't make the whole world love you. If becoming a mere friend also need this kind of scrutinize, then i don't know what will happen to the future husband or wife.

Ah well, i think i just be contended with my comics. haha

Wow

2005-06-21T09:58:00.000+08:00

My sister is here again, this time is because she needs to exchange something that she bought from the previous trip. She's been back to home for 2 days, then she's here again. I feel good, coz there's someone there to accompany me. I'm scared of being alone i guess. I'm scared of loneliness. I really do enjoy the company of my sister. So scared now, what will i do if she's not here? Aiyah, can't think of this kind of things liao. It's so frustrating. Guess I really need to buy a lot more tv series or cartoon to fill up the extra time that i have now, or i should go buy comics or rent them. I can't always be out, coz I'm kinda homely person, i rather snugle in my bed, doing nothing, than go out. I rather eat instant noodles than go out have a meal alone. See, i'm scared of being alone. This is not good, I really don't know what will or what can i do with all those extra time. Hmm, a few pieces of cheese cake would be nice. haha. I'm so scared i'm going to gain weight! But I lost some, haha, after determination and discipline to go exercise. Happy happy, i can wear tight jeans again. (Sounds like the ad of some weight loss pill, haha)

I'm so BORED

2005-06-15T12:08:00.000+08:00

Today's internet connection sucks! I can't have anything done! Can' upload, can't download, and when it's moving, it's really very slow. How can i have my things dne if it is like that? I just can't imagine what can i do for now. I just sit here like an idoit, hoping it will become normal again. But it ain't happening. guess i just have to sit and relax. Hmmm, it'll be good if there's a piece of cheese cake here. yum yum. talking bout food, i'm very hungry now. Didn't have my breakfast, and i feel so sleepy right now!

Something lucky happened to me yesterday. As i'm crosing the road, there's a huge pajero coming, and the driver loooks very fierce. I'm so scared i'm going to e knocked down by him! But then, he came to a screeching halt, and let me pas the road, smiling broadly towards me! It's like, i feel so lucky! This is Malaysia, drivers NEVER let pedestrian walk first. It's always the bigger, the winner, and us who's walking, will always be bullied. It's liie, suddenly i've got a rush, i feel very lucky. Count your blessings. I'm truly lucky, i'm not handicapped, i've got my own hands and feet, i can work, i can take care of myself. I've got my family, friends. I should really be counting my blessings. It's like, i should be contended with what i have, shouldn't always feel sorry for myself, as i have a lot that others don't have. I'm lucky. I realy am.

I'm Hungry!

2005-06-14T10:12:00.000+08:00

Woke up quite early this morning, need to send my sister to bus stop to g back ipoh. I've been very happy these few days, with the company of my sister. We've watched Japanese cartoon series yesterday! I'm sooooo happy! THis made me remembered all the happy moments when i'm still young, the times when I've spent most of my pocket money renting comics and novels; the times when our mum ound out that we're renting comics, and finally got wacked because of that. Hahaha, great memories. This is my childhood i guess, comics, cartoon, novels. I still love comics very very much. When i've got the money i'm going to collect all my favourite comics!

Feel very hungry right now, havent breakfast. And now I'm suffering gastric. I wanna leave early, need to go out settle sth. And ah yu the fish will be here next thursday! Happy happy.

Happy happy

2005-06-13T11:18:00.000+08:00

My sister came down to KL, and both the Lee sisters went shopping in a few places. Happy happy. It's so happy that I can just go around the shops and bargain with them. But then, i also spent a lot. Haha. The happiness from geting good bargains can cover it all .

Bumped into sze lyn in the Tang's Studio in BB Plaza. Actually I saw her sister first, and i thougt she looked familiar, and we met for the first time in don't know how many months in the changin rooms! haha, felt lucky that day, met with sze, then another good thing happen to me when I'm ner the tool plaza, then got ppl treat me and my sisters (the elder sister's boy friend), then in the first time in really don't know how many monthes, i watched TV.

This weekend is really fruitful. Happy coz got great bargains, contended coz I'm with my siblings. Nothing beats my own family. I love them all!

It's been a long time

2005-06-10T09:49:00.000+08:00

It has been a long time since i came here to write anything. There's been some major changes in my life. I'm currently single again, after 5 years be with that man (i should call him BOY, coz he's just no mature enough). It's very sad for me, but I'm strong, I will be stronger. At first i felt like the end of the world, but then, I think i have more important things to do in my life than to be sad for the rest of my life! So here I am, trying to be normal again, trying my best to pick up back all my usuals hobbies and habits. I'm still me. As the old saying goes, no pain, no gain. I've leant a lot from this. I', trying to forgive, and forget. Coz i know if i don't forgive, i will never be able to forget. This is life, we can't always want it to be waht we want. I'm trying hard to lead a normal life back, of coz occasionally i'll feel lonely. So by then i will try to find things to do la. Luckily I've found a part time job now as a data entry person (THANKS to ah Boon!!!), I don't have much time to THINK, and to feel sorry for myself. I'm alright now. I think i will be better in the future. I am strong!

2005-05-30T02:32:00.000+08:00

It's been quite some time that I cam'e here to write. I just finished my report (Finally!) yesterday, went to hand it in to my supervisor and lecturer. basically now i'm very free liao. just wait for the next semester to start. wanna earn some cash.

these few days i've been downloading exercise videos from the net. Tao Bo. hahaha. great exercise! and i'm trying all sorts of other execise. hope i can lose weight healthily. i am trying to find something that i can stick to it for a long time (i hope), if not, it will be a waste pf time and energy that i frantically lose weight now, but gain back the pounds few months later. i wanna stay healthy for the rest of my life. been very careful in my diet lately, trying to choose healthy and tasty food. ever wonder why the healthy foods are so tasteless, and all those tasty food are loaded with calories and harmful? I still LOVE double cheese burger!

She remembers my name!

2005-05-26T17:32:00.000+08:00

Went grocery shopping just now, went into S_s_, the shop that sells skin care and make up. The sales girl there actually remember my name! Got a shock when she called me out. Hmm, must be I can't decide which things to buy.... (me and my sis were there last week, for a few trips in a single day, coz we really can't decide what kind of things to buy........ then go and back, go and back, try this try that. ) Make me feel very welcome there, although i didn't buy anything just now, coz they didn't have that brand any longer. This is the right attitude i suppose, to serve customer. Have a pleasant experience there, compare to last year. The sales person there are quite ego, especially if you must go in there to have a look, and didn't buy anything. My advice, only go in that particular chain store if you have SOMETHING you confirm will buy, if not, you won't get any good service, not to mention service, you won't even get a friendly smile. Personal experience there. This is a materialistic world, think most of the sales girl are the same.

Ah well. just feel happy.

Shopping!

2005-05-24T23:08:00.000+08:00

My sister's was here last week, for 5 days. Basically we went shopping everyday. It's been such a long time since we go shopping together. So much fun, but used so much money. We bought a lot of masks, skin care, and oh dear, the Bodyshop Annaul sales! We went to the Bodyshop on their first day of sales, and all i can say is phew! There so much people there! it's like everything is free! We got quite a lot of cheap things, especially those 70% off, and with member's day, there's additional 10% off, so it's 80% off. THe product that I think is the best bargain is the Africa Spa hair and body mud. It's 80% off! They've changed the series name to Spa Wisdom (actually a relaunch), so the old product with old names will be sold off. We are lucky we can buy it, because my sister knew the store manager. They didn't display this product, coz it's such a bargain, they keep it for their loyal customer. Very happy with all my bargain buys, all 80% off, saved a lot from usual. Shopping makes me happy, especially if I got great bargains. haha. eventhough htis happen 5 days ago, i'm still very happy with all the bargain buys. I love bodyshop! But then i can only use their body product, not their face product, make my pores clog, and out break. sigh. but anyway, still happy. Shopping! Love it!

How come?

2005-05-24T22:59:00.000+08:00

Been busy preparing my report of training, my pen drive chooses this time to die. I can't opne it! Ths comp ask me to reformat it, but ALL my report AND info is in the pendrive! I didn't backup, never have the thought that the thumb drive will spoil. And it chooses the best time to die : with all my info AND my report. Have to do everything again. So sad. But I can't do anything, since ths thing is dead, and i can't open any files in it. Have to start all over again. sigh.

What a Pervert!

2005-05-16T13:46:00.000+08:00

I forgot to take back my pen drive from office l;ast saturday, so i rushed back there this morning to take it back. When I'm there walking to the office, there's this malay guy stopping me with his van! Then he opened his door and ask for direction......... he nearly hit me! Then i told him, and his eyes keep fixing on my boobs! My gosh!!! Haven't see any woman in your life ar? So rude! Feel like hitting his face. I quickly finished, and walked away.... he keep following me on his van to check out my boobs.......... And keep calling me back, i think to have a few more looks at my boobs..... Why there's such pervert in this world? If wan a woman pay for a call girl la. I can't stand it. I'm so stupid at first. Should have known he's not asking for direction...... There's only 1 road coming in, and another going out.... How i haven't think of THAT? One way out! I'm naive..... Should be more cautious on the road next time...... Must be alert.

I feel weird

2005-05-15T17:21:00.000+08:00

Feel quite weird, coz tomorrow I'm won't be going back to the training place. Feel like I've lost something, although I didn't get paid or anything, but suddenly there's nothing for me to do, feel weird. I woke up at 7 this morning, biological clock a guess, then I remember today is sunday, and I do not need to there anymore.

What should I do from now on? There's another month only the new semester starts. I wanna go find some part time job, but don't think it's easy to get the job i want. I think i just need to try harder, coz i need cash.

I just don't feel right, that's all.

Is this lucky or what?

2005-05-14T13:05:00.000+08:00

Today is my last day of training, YEAH! I've packed all my things, ready to go back. Then suddenly there's a knock on the door (I'm at the door actually), then came in two men, they want to service the air-cond! Gosh! I'm already on the way to go back! And they say they need AT LEAST 1 hour to clean it. I want to go back! But they insist that they have to clean it TODAY itself, if not our appointment will be next month. I havr to let them in. I have no other choices. Everyone's gone, I'm the last to go back.

They've already been here for 1 and a half hours, still they haven't finish...... I don't know when can they finish, and I wanna go back! So is this lucky or what? Last day of my training in this place, and OT!!!!!!

Ouch!

2005-05-12T19:04:00.000+08:00

I've made up my mind. I need to exercise back. My body is so flabby! Every part of my body is full of FATS! I can't take it any more. I must slim down. Just now i swam. I haven't do any exercise for more than half a year, and my muscles are aching now. Hope i'll feel better tommorow. Think tomorrow i'll do something else. Just need to move.

It's not easy to become a DJ you know!

2005-05-11T18:56:00.000+08:00

I'm listening to 988, my favourite chinese radio station. The station is having a poll, `My favourite DJ', which is sponsored by TOTO..... Ah Look, one of the DJ is promoting himself just now, and he imitates Aaron Kwok sings, and boy! It's exactly the same as Aaron Kwok! Then he sings the song that he composes himself, and it's good. It's hard to become DJ nowadays. They have to be able to talk nonstop, be cheerful on air, have a lot of talents, and have to be pretty or handsome, which is suppose not one of the criteria, but now they have to be presentable too. Not easy to become DJ, really not easy.

This hurts so much

2005-05-11T17:32:00.000+08:00

She's shouting to him. He's shouting back. He had another woman, and she's asking for a divorce. She keep screaming. He's always been using her money, he didn't have a job. She's the one earning everything. He uses her money to go after another woman. She's chasing him out of the house, and she's crying very very hard. This is all the things that I can get. The couple who's staying above me is fighting. I can feel the pain. I'm hurt too. Memories keep flooding back, and I wanna cry. I hope they turn out ok. But the husband is just too much. Never work, ask money from woman. Is he a man? Why did the woman want to marry him? She never knew that he don't work? But then, love is blind. You will never see this kind of things when you're in love. I wonder how long have they been together. This hurts!

Back from Kuantan

2005-05-07T01:46:00.000+08:00

I've been in Kuantan these 2 days, for a field trip, survey. I can't say i gained a lot, but at least I've known something other than my usual thing. I've noticed a lot of thins, but I can't write it out back, coz really can't remember. Sometimes i do hope i can access the internet whereever and whenever, so i can write my thoughts there and then.

The survey is successful, with quite a number of respendents. I hope i can do this kind of things some other time. But i really hate the travelling part, especially we went there in a 20 year old Land Rover. there's no head rest in the vehicle, and my head has been knocking the window throughout the whole trip! And it's hot! There's no rain! I can't stand the heat......

Hope I won't be asked a lot of questions on this.

Why you so slow wan?

2005-05-04T17:14:00.000+08:00

I'm doing data entry. The girl that teaches me, did things slower than me. Guess that I just can't leave things where thery are. I need to finish all the things firwt, then only i' feel better. By all means, I'll finish everything before i go off.

Aiya!!!!

2005-05-03T18:36:00.000+08:00

I've been in the Deputy Head's office whole day, doing data entry. This really have nothing to do with my subject, but I'm going for the field trip this thursday, to do this survey, so exposing myself to the thing will be a good thing. After I had enter about 20 sets (which has around 100 variables), sudden;y the electricity stop! SHIT! I didn't save!!!! Someone next door had switch off THE MAIN SWITCH, and I lost all of it. Have to do all over again. If not I can finish the whole stack in the morning. What to do. Some people are just that ignorant. When there's a big big sticker there stating `PLEASE DO NOT SWITCH OFF', their hands are still itchy, wanna touch the plugs. I think it's human nature. The more we're forbidden to do something, the more we're drawn to it. And I can't do anything, except curse and do all over again.

Been to Midvalley just now, wanna buy the best buy mask from Sasa. Though I don't like to be in there, but it's really cheap. This time I'm lucky, I met with a pleasant sales girl (maybe she's pleasant coz I buy quite lot, haha). But also no luck, out of stock. I beleive bad luck goes in 3, so already 2 times of bad luck, just have to anticipate the 3rd one. When will it happen?

Another day......

2005-05-02T14:50:00.000+08:00

Today's a holiday. I've been online aimlessly for more than 3 hours. Nothing to do (basically I have report to write, but I don't have heart to write it for the time being). I try to find some friends to chat, but apparently I don't have much friends. So i start to browse around. I try to find things to do. I think i just go to sleep.

I now fear about my own future. Should I continue with my studies? Or should i just make up my mind and come out to work? Still thinking about this kind of things. Have no idea. Things will sort it out by themselves, i hope.

Help!

2005-05-01T16:43:00.000+08:00

I chew it too hard. My braces' wire fall off! The last tooth where it's supposed to be locked, it fall off! AND IT HURTS! Pain pain pain......... when it fall off, the wire pull with it my whole row of teeth. Like all my teeth wanna fall off like that. Really need to see the doc, but she's on maernity leave, only come back on the end of august! I don't know what can i do alr.

Clear Blue Sky

2005-04-30T18:14:00.000+08:00

I notice how blue the sky is when I'm driving to work this morning. It's been such a long time since i saw such blue sky. It's either not haze, or raining. I love clear blue sky. Make me feel vey optimistic, make me feel good. I sure hope everyday's weather is that good.

What am I doing?

2005-04-30T09:33:00.000+08:00

I'm in a trance. I'm reading another Dan Brown book, Angels and Demons. This is also good, but don't know why, I still prefer Da Vinci Code. This book has too much science in it. I don;t understand physics. And some more, the Head saw me just now absorbed in this book! He peep through the window! I didn't notice him. haha. Guess that explains what I'm doing all the while, when I have nothing to do. Just hope he won't get angry, he knew I got nothing to do what. haha. Damn I love these books!

What have you learnt today?

2005-04-29T13:41:00.000+08:00

After being in a meeting for more than 4 hours, that's the loudest message i can get from all the talking from the Head of the Centre. What have i learnt today i wonder? Everyday we're in a constant changing world, and I suppose change is th only stagnant thing that will be happening in our lifes. I guess the thing that i learned today is that, the PFGE is used in molecular epidemiology analysis of the out break of the typhoid in Kelantan. Other than that, I don't have a clue what he's talking about! Shouldn't have gone. I'm the only student attached there. I really don't have any busines there. And the Head asked me questions. I can answer some, but not all. He's evaluating i see. Just hope i've passed his standards.

The Da Vinci Code (Dan Brown)

2005-04-28T22:18:00.000+08:00

I'm reading this book right now, and I can't keep my eyes off it. I totally absorbed into it. I finish like 400 pages in half a day time? Might be 10 hours? I'm jus here to praise it! IT's GOOOOOOODDDDD!!!!!!! GOOD GOOD GOOD!

A new place!

2005-04-27T20:20:00.000+08:00

Went to meet the big boss this morning for his signature, then he suddenly told me that there's someone in another unit who's going DNA fingerprinting and typing, and I might be interested in. Of course I am! Then he wrote a memo to the person in charge, stating that I am to go there to learn the method (or at least have a look of what thery are doing). After I'm there, the Doctor in charge accepted me, but the person who's doing the thing keep fussing:how busy she was, how annoying it was to have students tagging along, and I should have written in in a PROPER CHANEL to apply to come into the lab bla bla bla..... then the doctor shower her the memo, and straight away she shut up (coz the memo from the boss in hte most proper chanel, haha), and she start accusing me for not telling her that there's a memo from the boss (coincidently the big boss of my unit is also the temporary big boss for this unit). You keep talking, I don't have any chance to say anything! Even the doctor had no chance to talk. Finally, she told me to go back to find her in 2 week's time (even though she said this very very unwillingly) But then, I'll be finishing my trainig in another 2 weeks time! That means I'm going to miss it.

Then I'm taken to another lab, where there's someone doing another thing-the DNA fingerprinting of S.typhi. At least I got something to learn, and got some more things to write in my report. Damn! I haven't start writing the report le! Need to start off these few days, if not I won't haave enough time to finish it.

Oouch!!

2005-04-26T15:16:00.000+08:00

I opend the door. I stepped inside. I'm in high spirit. I yelled `I'm back!' Then I look at my supervisor. He's acting quite strangely. I don't know why. Then I noticed-his belt is loosen, and his pants is unzipped! The first thing i thought:aiks, is he doing THAT thing in the office ar? Then he told me his zip is broken, and I'm so embarassed! Luckily his shirt is long, can cover up everything. Then i can't help but laugh, coz I'm too embarassed to say anything. I can't do anything to help him, then a collegue of his came back, and she has a pin. Lucky for him. If not he has to hold his pants for the rest of the day, and there's a meeting later!

Cuba to conduct vaccine trials in Malaysia

2005-04-26T09:47:00.000+08:00

This is the news that i read this morning. Cuba is going to conduct clinical trials here.

I don't know how to feel. Do they know what's the meaning of this? I've always thought that developed countries go to undeveloped countries to do clinical trials, because they never know what's the outcome of the trials, and the people that accept the treatment can't do anything about it. I feel like this is making our country looks like an undeveloped country. “Cuba feels that our country is unique for conducting clinical trials because we abide by global standards and because of the composition of our society,” This is what out PM said. I feel that we're becomong the quinea pigs of their trials. White mice. We do not know what the vaccines contained, they won't disclose it. This is the procedure. What if they test harmful things on us? Sure they'll pay the test subjects some money, and if they do not know that it's a test, they thought it's good deal! I'm scared the vaccines is something that will last in out country. How could this be hapenning to our country? If the vaccines is so good, why didn't they do it on their own people? Why didn't they conduct it on their neighbouring country? Why? DO THEY EVER THINK THIS BEFORE SIGNING THE AGREEMENT?

Monday blues.....

2005-04-25T07:51:00.000+08:00

I've always had monday blues. I really don't like mondays, especially after my training, feel very bored, restrected. I hate mondays! Just feel like staying at home, don't wanna come out from my bed, especially I slept at 3 yesterday......

Can't online these few days, the service provider's server had been struke by lightning! Ciplak~~~ Every week there seems to be a few days I can't online, if calculate like this, there'll be more than 10 days I can't online in a month! Rugi betul lah......... But then what to do? They're the ONLY provider there..... Have to bear with it.

This morning I've noticed a Naza Ria with number plate 4747.... I bet the owner is a Malay or an Indian. I mean, how could any chinese have the guts to use this number? First it's 4, means `die'. Then it's 7, means `dick'. The combination is `die dick die dick'! I don't think there will ever be any chinese who wants that kind of number....I just want to laugh when i first saw it just now. haha.

This is the 6th week of my training, and there's another 3 more weeks then i will be off from this place. Now i start to worry bout my report-what should i write? wat can i write? I have no idea..... Because I have done NOTHING here! die man.......

Borders

2005-04-22T14:57:00.000+08:00

Today's friday, had my long lunch break, went to Times Square with my group of friends, coz we all heard that The Borders Bookstore is opened! It is so called the largest bookstore in the world, but I personally think, the place is big, but the volume of books can't match One Utama's MPH, which is also double storey, with a lift service in the middle of the store.

I've bought 3 books, which are in promotion- 3 for the proce of 2. Very happy. I can still smell the scent of new books. Happy happy. I can enjoy this weekend after all. Hope i won't finish them that fast, if not these few weeks I don't have any other things to do liao.

Change Face

2005-04-22T10:16:00.000+08:00

We're chatting happily. We're talking bout the same topic. We're laughing on the same mistakes that we've done. Suddenly her face change. I don't know why. What had i said? I just mention that she need to read more on a certain topic. Then her whole face change. And she keep quiet for the rest of the journey. We're on our way to have our lunch. How can we eat when someone's there constantly showing their angry face to you? How can someone be so sensitive? I didn't like said directly on to her face, i mention it in a humourous way. She felt offended, that's for sure. Amybe I'm not her, I can't get it. Then later her friends told me, her attitude is like that. Hyper sensitive, when things about her studies are related. To me, it's just nothing. I know my results are like that. I can't do much about it alr. Just try my best to improve. No need to see the grades so great is it??? Sorry to say, but she's just so damn KIASU la....... I know grades are important, but it doesn't represent everything right...... I just don't know. Maybe different people different perception. Ah well, I won't talk anything about grades next time in front her...

Why are you always like that?

2005-04-21T23:46:00.000+08:00

"Eh, I'm going out yumcha with xx and his group of friends later ah...."

"Why geh? I thought you said his group of friends all very lansi and just love to show off??"

"aiya, you don't understand wan la. He asked me what, what to do, have to go la...."

"eh, just said you're not free la, you need to accompany me la, whatever la, can what.... "

"You don't understand wan la, he asked me....."

I think you're the one who don't understand. You talked how bad his group of friends, how they show off, how they talk bad of each other when last time you yumcha with them, but now when your friend give you a call, you rushed to their side. I think you're the one who don't understand. This is nothing about status ok. You won't be one of them eventhouugh how much time you spent with them. They are born to a wealthy family. They have a few platinum cards to use in their wallet. They can enjoy all the things that money can buy, they can afford it. But you're not. You can't afford it. You will never be one of them. How can I let you understand this? You will never be one of them. Even when you're with them, they just look down on you. Because you're not one of them. This is the cold hard truth of life.

2005-04-20T13:48:00.000+08:00

I really love the smell of freshly cut grass. Don't know why, just love the smell of it, especially when there's someone cutting it, and I'm standing beside the field, taking deep breathes. It's so refreshing! I love green grass! But please don't ask me to eat grass! I can't stand the taste of it (eventhough i haven't tray any).

Got a shock just now, I''ve been scold by a junior officer who's way younger than me. I'm talking with a friend, who's collecting reading for the sound analysis, then she just scold us for talking, which will intefere with the reading. She's not taking any reading that time, she had just finished. Another thing is, she's a NOBODY! Not even a senior officer! Not even our supervisor, she got no rights to scold us like that. She thinks she's an officer there, she can simply just let out her anger towards us, who are students attached to this place? Even the unit's head never scold me before! I just don't know why. She's not yet the head, and yet what she's doing she acts as if she is. She's just 1 rank higher than us, and the last in the list. Everybody else scold her, and she can only scold us. But this is not fair to us! How can this happening to us?

Not Pretty Enough

2005-04-19T17:25:00.000+08:00

Suddenly found this song in my computer, sze sent to me wan. It's by Kasey Chambers, and I really like her voice, and the lyrics. Not pretty enough, it's not I'm ugly, but not pretty enough. How can one be pretty enough? Think more plastic surgeries will help, haha.

The big big pimples on my face had healed, but left some very ugly scars, marks behind. Now it looks like I've got a very big mole on my cheek, and there's a lot of marks on my nose and fore head. I've been very hard working (aka applying mask every day) but how come the marks still won't fade away? No more self esteem, when I go out like this. No wonder those people with bad skin feel so bad, now I know. Only 1 big pimple (and some small ones) make me feel so bad, I can't imagine those with really bad skin. I need to work harder i guess, apply more mask and moisturizer!

Is this true?

2005-04-19T07:37:00.000+08:00

I've been very very free yesterday, so free until I went to read forums. I usually went to other forums, but yesterday I clicked into the `Love' section. There're so much posts there! Compare to other places, the replaying posts there are fast, long and a lot. Hmm, guess that this Love thing is the problem of a lot of people, especially in this big city. The whole day I just sat there, reading through all the posts. Some wrote in their story, some just wanna find new friends, some are healing their wounds by writing their stories..... Some of it is just like a soap opera, but then it might be true. Blame it on the cyber world. We eon't know whether it's true, but the forumers there just give their symphathy, and help with each other. It'll be quite sad and annoying, if we ever find out that some of their `life' is just a make up. I'll be angry for sure. It's like, we can't talk this with someone else, we definitely can't talk with parents (especially of you're still a teenager), so the forum is a good place to voice out your thought, and get support. It's more like a support group, for people to heal. Guess I've fouund a great place to voice my thoughts.

You think you own this ar?

2005-04-15T17:27:00.000+08:00

Woke up late this morning, so don't have time to pump petrol. The needle is touching the big E, but have to rush to office. I'm so scared my car would just stop in the middle of the road because the petrol had finished! Luckily it manage to go quite some distance, can tahan till the nearest station. But then encounter a very rude worker at the B* Petrol Station near the Telekom Tower (btw, Telekom had lanched their new logo, looks like tmnet's logo), he snaps at anyone who's in front of him! They are using the very primitive system, whereby you pay the worker there, and they'll punch in the amount of petrol on the machine itself. Aren't all petrol station are required to fix the system where all the petrol kiosks are controlled by the main cashier? It's been a long time since i pump petrol like that. Another guy beside me try to ask him for direction, and he just snaps back :`you no eye see ar?!!!!! see for yourself lar!!! @#$%'. I mean, that guy is asking very nicely for direction, can't you just reply? If you don't feel like replying, can't just point it or what? No one ask you to open your mouth what...... Then it's my turn: 'you didn't see i'm standing here ar? why wanna walk there? you no need think! YOU PAY HERE!' wa lau eh! As if he owns the petrol station! If not my car no petrol, i straight away step into the car and ciao. What the f***, i'm the customer le, can't just keep your mouth shut? as if I'm 3 year old and need some lesson from you. I'm not the only one, after my turn another bus driver also kena gao gao from him. Aiks, no wonder that petrol station don't have much sales. It's in a very strategic place, but every time i see there's not much car there. Ah well, it's a pity though, that he's going be working there for the rest of his life. haha

F*** off biatch!!!!!

2005-04-13T19:11:00.000+08:00

Why can't she just leave us alone? We're just there to do our training! And we'll be out of your site for another 4 weeks! (in the mean time cheer for me! this is the 4th week already!) and I'll only be there for 1 week! Cn't she just leave us alone? She start talking bad about us to whoever she saw. And the words came back to us quite quick. That lab is not THAT BIG...... How could this happening to us? I mean, we didn't do anything wrong, we try to be nice, and yet she complain here complain there. If you so good, just go and complain to the head, and let the head come and scold us. what the heck start spreading bad words to all other labbies? wanna boycot us is it? We're just students training there, and who do you think you are? Just a staff, even the head didn't say anything about me being there for a week! She act as if she OWNS the WHOLE lab. I dispised this kind of person. If she got guts, just come and tell us in front f our face. phew!!! I'm pissed by this kind of attitude! I know you're OLD!! you don't have to show me your POWER! I know what you MANAGE to do! on the other hand, when i think more, i can only say she's not capable of doing any OTHER thing! Just sit there and goyang kaki, boil telephone porridge, and start criticizing every other thing and person that's in the lab. I'm just tired of her. I won't be in that lab from tomorrow onwards. Makes me furious!!! I'll be going back to my own lab, then I'll ask the smart senior technician to teach me things, at least let me have a look by the side, gain some knowledge. Better than sit at anoter lab, hoping to learn things, but then let people kutuk all the way! FEDUP lar....

Who do you think you are?

2005-04-13T00:46:00.000+08:00

Got a bit pissed today, by someone who thinks that she's very importhat. I'm currently attached to another unit, where by I've already gained the permission of my unit's head, that unit's head, and the person in charged of all the student's posting in that place. And out of no where, this woman came up to ma and asked : where you from wan? And it's like, HELLO! I'm not resopnsible towards you! I mean, it's my mistake that I didn't imtroduce myself to all the lab personel when i came in yesterday, but then, everyone was busy with their own stuff, and it'll be a bit rude for me to just go up and say i'm new there! and i'm only going to be there for 1 week! I've already got the permission from the unit's head! Even all the heads have aprroved, and she's there like : no no no, you can't just hop from lab to lab like this, bla bla bla.... then she go tell to EVERYONE in that lab that I've done wrong and things like that...... sigh. i just don't know why there's anyone so free to do this kind of things. I've done the things in the official manner, it's just that I didn't introduce myself when I went into the lab, coz everyone is busy then. when they are free, in reture i'm busy. I'm just a bit angry at how can she act like that, and go gossip to all other labbies there. It just annoyed me. If they can use that time to do some other things, I think that place won't be that lag behind!

Ah well, i think i have to pretend there's just a biatch barking all along then. no need to bother too much. she's not my supervisor anyway. just scared she'll start complaining to EVERY other unit, then i won't have to opportunity to go other places to have a look.

Can I share it ar?

2005-04-12T08:12:00.000+08:00

I've noticed some interesting site when I'm having my breakfast just now. I saw a couple sharing a small plate of roti canai, and a small cup of teh tarik. And it suddenly struck me, it's only done newly attached couples. Try doing that after you've been together for a few years, when you both are in the comfort zone. "why you finish my roti canai?"; "I order another for you la!"; "yer, look as if you so broke no money buy to eat" and etc etc etc. It's like showing the whole world that you're together, both of you have to be seen as AN item together. You won't be doing when you've been together for a few years. And I also noticed, when you're in the comfort zone, you tend to neglect a lot of things, esp your appearance (don't bother too much about it, coz you alr found some one who wants you :D). I don't want to turn into a big fat biatch, think I need to take good care of my looks, and my dressing. I don't want ppl think that I'm married!

Drift King

2005-04-09T01:53:00.000+08:00

Went to some where in Sunway just now, and there's some drifter there performing, and competing. I can feel the adrenaline rush within myself, and i feel so excited! There's so much people there, and I found out that, someone who looks nerdy might not be what you think he is. There's a nerdy-look-boy who's a very good drifter (he looks like those book worms that can score straight A in whatever exams, with his t-shirt and shorts). so the moral behind this story, never judge a book by its cover. and another conclusion: they are RICH! if not, they won't be able to drive like that. see, money rulz....

What's the skin care you are using?

2005-04-08T17:57:00.000+08:00

I've been quite busy these few months, busy until I don't have time to take a good look at my own face. I got the time yesterday, have the time to look hard into the mirror. I'm horrified to see my skin's dull, lifeless, and there's a lot of pimples, white heads and bloak heads all over my face! Gosh! I've neglected my skin for so long! How counld this be happening to me? i've been lazy for the pass few months, and it starts showing all on my face. I'm even lazy to clean my face with proper cleanser, i just splash some water, and that's consider clean (see, that's how lazy i am). I have to work harder from now on, to stable back my skin's condition, to achieve back the smooth and glowing skin i used to have. It's such pity.

Bad Luck

2005-04-07T22:36:00.000+08:00

I don't have any luck yesterday i guess. When I'm back, I noticed the whole clothes rail had fall off from the balcony of my place! It's like so high here! The good news is that luckily it didn't hit anyone who's passing by, because it's hanging on a tree! With my intimate clothing hanging from the branches, and I'm not tall enough to get it all. Lucas had to use a ladder and a stick to get everything back down. Such a hassle. I don't quite know how the thing can fall off. The second thing is, I forgot to close my room's window, and it's flooded! Every afternoon it rains in KL these few weeks, and I forgot to close my window! how could this 2 things happen to me in the same day? I just think my luck is bad bad bad these few days, and i can't anything about it. Ah well, lucky nothing burnt, coz there's an extension wire excactly under the window, and it's full of water when i found out the windown's not closed. i suppose this is the little luck i have when i met with bad luck. Think i should feel lucky la, haha.

Salt crystal lamp

2005-04-05T12:08:00.000+08:00

This is yet another of those boring days, where by I come to work hoping it's lunch, after lunch I long for 4pm so i can go back home. It's making my life miserable. It seems like every now and then i keep complaining about it, but I do think this will be good training for me, though I can't get hands on the lab work. I still haven't go apply to attach another division, coz my supervisor's going to present tomorrow, hope everything will be alright, then the project can start soon. It's ok for me to just sit here, not being productive, but I'm scared i don't have anything to write in the report I need to hand in to the university. Except stating these few weeks I've been doing literature review only, and I don't think that's an impressive report.

The senior technician brought me to the market this morning, and the things there are cheap! I mean, if compare to PJ, they are cheap. I'll try to coax my friends to go there to have lunch these few days, just for the sake of a change of environment. As i say, everyday's work is the same, I'll be bored to death if there's nothing new!

I've got a sudden interest in salt crystal lamp, and i got to know that it's a natural deionizer. It's kinda benificial if it's situated near human. How good if i can get a cheap lamp, but i'm scared it is of inferior quality. I"ve been browsing through all those web sites, and a medium lamp cost around USD40-50. It's expensive!

And there goes another week....

2005-04-04T11:00:00.000+08:00

I've been here for 2 weeks, and yet everyday is the same old s***, it's quite exhausting for me, though I'm not doing ANYTHING practically. It just makes me wonder, how long do I have to be like this? I just hope I can generate some thing out of this attachment.

I woke up really late this morning, and I arrived late. I'm suppose to start work at 7.30am, but an officer told me that there's another shift at 8.15am, so i thought I've made it through, since i arrive at 8.15. But later I found out I can't just simply change my shift, it need to be done in a month's time! So i'm consider late for work (very late indeed) today. I still don't know what should I do with it, and I still do not know what will happen to me. Finger crossed.

I've been helping my sister to feed her pets when she's not around for the weekend, and I do enjoy it :) It feel so relax just to watch the fish swim, though the angelfish don't move quite a lot. Been planning to get myself an aquarium, and i need to find some hardy fish that can survive without me paying much attention to them. But it'll cost me quite a bomb when i want to start it. I'll try to figure what can i do, and in the meantime i'll just go play with my sister's pets, haha.

Accident

2005-03-31T07:39:00.000+08:00

Met with an accident early this morning when I'm on my way to work. And it happened in front of a traffic police! He's directing the traffic, and the car in front of me break suddenly, i manage to break in time, but the car behind me banged into me. Sigh. Luckily there's not much damage to my car. Only the number plate is broken, and a few scratches here and there. Not good, not good. No luck these few days. Should go do something about it. My broken number plate was left in the crime scene (sounds like CSI, haha), and I'm scared the police might do something about it. But with the heavy traffic on that road, I doubt it's still in one piece. Just hope everything will be alright later. I'm in no mood to do anything right now.

Earth quake in KL

2005-03-30T09:29:00.000+08:00

This is the first time this country can feel actually feel the quake. I used to think that Malaysia is a very fortunate place, where we are protected from a lot of natural disasters, coz we are in the middle of the region, surrounded by other countries. But after Monday's hit, I don't quite think like that anymore. The earth had moved. This will affect our land. I do not feel anything that day, as I was out having supper. When I'm back I saw a lot of people outside the road, and I wondered what had happened. It had never crossed my mind that there would be an earth quake. I got such a shock when I read the news the next day. I pity people in Indonesia. They live in constant fear. You wouldn't know when the next one will hit. It might be next week, next month or 10 years later. Who knows? We can't control mother nature. There must be explamations behind all these incidents, it's just that we humans are not sensitive enough to get it. I really do hope there won't be anything happening to our country.

How come it's like this?

2005-03-28T09:17:00.000+08:00

I've only been working here for few days, and I already feel exhaustion. It's so much different from what I've been through. Basically, I've not done ANY lab work here, everyday I just sit in front of the comp, trying hard to figure out what's happening to me? How come things turn out this way? I'm here to learn, and expose myself to other things. One conclusion: I can't sit inside an office! I feel like i must really go out and expose myself to various things, not just sit here, do nothing, generate nothing. I feel shameful, coz I'm of no help here, and yet people need to waste time and energy to entertain me. I feel so useless here, eventhough it's not my fault. Well, i just hope things will get better later.

The same thing

2005-03-25T08:51:00.000+08:00

Officially I've been in this place for 3 days, and I still don't know what can i do. They're not going to start the project any sooner than 2 months, and by that time I've already left. The only thing i can do right now is literature review, which is so boring. I'm devastated! Nothing much i can do about it, it's their decision to attach me here, and i feel it's not very appropriate for me to do complain. I'll try to talk with the head of the unit, see what else can be done, since i can't contribute much here.

I've gone to eat sushi yesterday, they're having some promotion for the members. EVERY PLATE RM2! I ate a lot! This is the first time I have all the sushi until my heart's content. But it's the last day. THey started it on monday. If i knew earlier, I'll go everyday! Felt better, coz I didn't any vouchers from the membership, usually they'll give vouchers through their calendar, but it's different this year. This is the first time i use my card after I bought it last december.

So bored here, sitting in front of the comp, doing nothing. I just hope i can find other things for me to do.

It's been a month!

2005-03-24T08:16:00.000+08:00

I can't believe this! It's been more than one month since i used the internet! I think it might be more than a month, I don't have internet access since February. So much things happened in this 2 months: I've finished my thesis writing, I've handed it in, I've presented quite well, and I've finished my finals. then bla bla bla bla bla....... I've been on the go nonstop for these 2 months, I ddidn't have a good rest, I don't even have time to go shopping! It's just so tiring.

I'm having my training in a reknowned research centre in this country. The place is so old. They're here for more tha 100 years, and sometimes it's so creepy to walk alone, especially my work starts at 7.30am. I've got nothing to do here, and i kinda regreted to come here. If I didn't apply for this, i can graduate this May, i can use this time to do the 3rd semester, can graduate faster. I don't need another semester. Sigh, this all is about planning. I've been dying to come here, since it got a very good reputation on doing research findings, but the situation has not been that good. Those working here have not been able to produce good findings, and there aren't much projects goind on. Another thing is, I've been sent to the Envirnomental Health Research Centre, doing something totally not related with my studies! I just don't know what to do here. How to say? people here are not the same channel. I've been trained in a molecular lab, everything i think is from the molecular way f view, but they are from another point of view. Feel bit ackward. It's only been 3 days, andI alr feel like rotting here. Nothing to do! Even they attached me to a Doctor (the one that has patients, not a Phd holder), but he's only doing PCR, something that i've leart before. I want to be exposed to something new, something different. It's so sad, being bale to come here, but there's nothing here for me to do! But this place still accept a lot of students. I can't imagine myself be here for another 8 weeks. It's killing me. I wanna get out!

It's just SO NOISY!

2005-02-22T01:04:00.000+08:00

I'm out from the comfort of my own home, now in a extremely noisy cyber cafe, finding my way through the dark room, to try to type the whole sentence out straightly. How can people bear with all this kind of noise? And the weird thing is, all of them seems to enjoy it very much, and most of them i can tell, are rich kids. It's just so sad, that they didn't study or do other things that's better. I can't even hear myself cough! And i'm suppose having a flu, with constant cough.

By the way, i'm here to try to find out whether I've got any new mails from my lecturer, who's waiting angrily for my 2nd draft of my thesis. I think i really can't finish the thing, without the help of internet, coz i really do think i don't have enough materials and references. I didn't copy any of the journals, and try my best to do it originally, but i suppose my scientific writing is horrible. She can't accept it, and after having a glance at my partner's, i do agree with her. I did write poorly. I'll try my best to continue with the work, hopefully this friday i can hand it in to her, and with finger crossed, i won't be scold by her. By the way, i'm having a lecture by her tomorrow, and i'm suppose to present my group's work, but i suppose i won't be bother much bout it.

Sze's in town, i really do hopw i can met up with her, and we can have some good talk. It's been few months since i see her, hope she's with Justin, haha. So i can have a look at him too. haha. Miss you girl! see you soon!

Holiday's Over

2005-02-13T15:10:00.000+08:00

It's over. The holiday is over. I'll be going back to KL tomorrow. Supposely I'll be going back today, following my sister, but then, accident happened, and i need to follow Lucas back. I didn't have the chance to meet up with friends these few days, too much relatives are back, and the family needs to be with them. So busy these few days. Don't quite wanna go back, coz need to concentrate on my work and studies. Have to leave the holiday mood back. Really miss holidays, when i can just sit down and relax, doing nothing.

Ipoh is just sooooooo hot!!! KL is much more cooler! The sun here and burnt me. I'm even scared to stand near the windows, it's THAT hot. There's not breeze, and the air is just hot hot hot! I just wanna strip and sleep the whole day!

I've Been so busy

2005-02-08T17:35:00.000+08:00

I've moved to a new place, and currently still without any internet connection. It's been extremely busy for me, coz i need to rush my first draft of my thesis, and moving to a new place. So musch things happen in a week's time, and i really need to clear the things, and buy new stuffs for my place. I can only say things haven't gone smoothly, and now I'm back in Ipoh to celebrate Chinese New Year. I don't really like this festive season, coz i really need to help out a lot in the family thingy. Mother expect a lot from us, but then we also have our group of friends who we wish to meet up with. Then there'll be a lot of noise from the family. Chaos.

Hope everything will turn out well, and i can get internet subscription at my new place.