Hurt

Try to get some guidance from the lecturer, but she just ignore me. Well, it's a fact that lecturers love students with good grades, but should they do it so obviously? It's like ok i'm not good in my grades, but sure there's some qualities in me that can be consider good right? Felt so hurt, she didn't even look at me when I try to talk to her. I think this is life. You're not good, no one will give you any attention. Sure I'm not good in studies, but i'm not dumb either. So this really hurts me. Do I have to shout to the whole world that I didn't do well in studies? Really doubt at my own abilities now. Is it all about results? I know some will tell me it don't matter much, but for sure when I go out to find work, eventually they'll look at my results. In confusion now. Bit angry and bit disappointed. I'm used to be told if you're not smart, as long as you work damn hard, it's ok. But no one ever tell me what can I do if I'm not smart, I work damn hard, but still I didn't get good grades. Think i have to figure this out by myself. Think that little last bit lies in God. I've been a bad girl lately, I only turn to God when I have problems. When talks to sze yesterday, about the clashes with theory of evolution that we evolved from apes and our believe that God created us. This really gets me thinking. My scientific background will say that, yes, every living thing come from the same source, as our genetic material is quite the same. But how does this first living thing exist? Is it created by God? Some more confusion. Think i need to be smarter to answer all that.