I've decided to move.

After much consideration, i've decided to shift my blog to wyemeng81.multiply.com. I kinda like there better, since it is easier for me. I'll keep posting here once a while, but then most of mythings will be there. thanks for those who's been coming here to read, and you know who you are. thanks girl!

The haze is BAD~~~

The weather's been that bad for a few days, and according to papers, it wil be like that UNTIL October! gosh! i'm suffocating right now, even a fully air-cond office is full with dust. When i woke up this morning i thought it's snowing in malaysia! That's how bad it is. Everyone's pointing their finger to another party, and no body's doing anything. We're in a emergency here! Why didn't the government just declare emergency? and ask all the primary school children stay back at home? They are the ones that do not know how to protect themselves.... and yet the government there is CONSIDERING they will make man made rain. They SHOULD now! The haze is bad! The visibility is les than 80m in some area in KL! It's definitely the dry season, so there won't be any rain in these few days, what can we do? I'm sick. The earth's sick, but no one care about it. We're just some stupid humans that only know how to exploit this place. Sad sad sad. I don't want the earth dies. I want' my children enjoy what i have right now. Not some polluted air and water!

This is LIFE

Been chatting happily with all the friends, during office hours, but I still finish a lot of work. I've drained my mp3's battery, and i'll be sleeping dead if there's no sound! I have no choice, but to find friends to chat with me (seems like a very valid excuse to chat during office hours.... wuakaka :D)

Been reading some forums online, and bump into a thread by a girl, who's 45kg, height 163, and still she wanna lose weight! She dais she wanna be at 40kg! But then i don't understand is, if she said that she's very very fat (my ass is fatter than hers....), why the hell she put her prettiest pic, showing her stick-body to the whole world! This is just too over! I mean, the-fat-ass-that-writing-now is only 2 cm taller than her, but more than 10kg heavier than her, if she's fat, then I'm OBESE la! I won't give any comment on her thread, coz i think that she's just a big show off there. Ya right, eventhough she's an event show girl, just go back to your own world and blab this and that to all those who's facing the same problem, who wants to be as thin as chopstick. We want to lose weight healthily! I'm going to get a heart attack sooner or later if i see more of her pics........ I guess this is life then, every girl wanna be thinner, and in this world THIN=PRETTY.... i'm too obsessed with the thinness...but i constantly remind myself to lose it healthily, and always eat and exercise! Exercise is the mose important thing in losing weight!

What's gender is your brain?

What's gender is your brain? Go find out yourself! This is quite fun, but i guess you can get to know the results even when you're in the middle of the quiz.

Just be yourself girl!

A friend told me that she's very sad, coz she just broke up. And the reason for breaking up? The guy said that she's not a party animal, and that she's no fun, that's why he's asking for a breakup. What the f***! Is it a crime that we're nice girls? Is it that bad that we don't smoke and drink, and party our night out to the grave? Mind you excessive alcohol and narcotine will make a female AGE faster! I don't understand that. The only reason i can think of it is that the guy is not genuinely interested to have a stable relationship, he's just asking for a casual fling, where he can bed the girl easy, coz a lot of those girls that party hard are labeled as easy target (but i do not mean ALL, ok). This just pissed me off. I mean, I'M FURIOUS! Who the hell he thinks he is? Asking this kind of things from a girl? What the heck. He thinks the whole wolrd evolved around him is it? He thinks that he's te only male gender in this world is it? I love myself! I won't do this just to please a guy, who definitely don't appreciate who am i, who only wan sex out of me. I mean, don't have doubt in yourself, just get the most out of what you can do, and the path will be in front of you. He's definitely not a husband material also, and I'm very proud to tell the whole world that i'm a wife material! wuakaka... so whoever wants a wife, i'm here! (gosh i'm just toooooo over...)

I just feel sorry for my friend, coz she wasted so much of her time and effort on this guy, but turns out that he's not into her inner beauty, and he's definitely not interested to get a wife. Then i recommend he go back and F*** His Own Ass. what a jerk.

And for my friend, and whoever who's having this kind of problem out there, just be yourself! Don't ever change and degrade yourself for some stupid fellow who don't know how to appreciate you. You deserve a better one!

I kena saman (3)

After the short group discussion i went to MPPJ to settle the compound. I can't find a parking space near there! It's just so full with people, and everywhere you go is CARS CARS CARS! I finally fedup with all of it, and went into a covered carpark, where i pay 150% more than the usual parking fee. But then it's worth it, i've saved time and petrol. It's so stressful. I nearly finished all my allowance. Think I need to eat maggi for the rest of the month. :'(

I kena saman (2)

Just found out from friend that IF i go pay up the thing within 7 days they'll reduce the fine to half. hmmmm, i think i might go settle the things tomorrow, since i'll be free. I just don't want this thing to bother me, stay atmy mind for the rest of this month. I'm alright now, think it's just random, and i'm the unlucky one.

Saying bout random, leads me remember the Finale episode of CSI Las Vegas. Quintin Terantino (is it spelled like this?) directed, and it's very bloody. Blood splashing here and there, and it's quite enjoyable to watch it. Suspense, and the one that acted Nick is very good. He's macho kind of man, but then when in that episode, i can see the fear, and giving up of a ma when you know that you can't live in another 90 minutes. It's like, don't bring the hatred and fear with you when you're saved. Leave it behind.

I think i seriously need to leave something behind my live now. I seriously do.

I kena saman.....

What a bad day to begin with. Had my breakfast, then went to pick up my car, and found out that I was fined! Blardy hell....... I was fined last evening! At 7.16pm! I'm soooooo frustrated. How can they come to fine at that time? I admit that i parked at yelow line, but then the whole road is full with cars! How come i'm the one that was fines? NOT FAIR! How come I'm the one? This explains why i had bad hair day this morning..... I hate it la...... Then I don't think i'll have enough money to survive until this month end.....

Boon commented that i looked slim FROM BEHIND, but then my waist is THICK. haha, don't this is good or not. My body shape is that, all my limbs are long and lean, but my body is short and fat. haha. I think i need to go more waist sculpture exercise, like belly dance, or just twist my waist. I already lose a few inches here, but i think it's still not enough. I need to work harder!

努力让自己笑。想开点，让自己好过一点。我有点乱了.........

我们的爱 (Our Love)

I'm listening to this song right now. It's by FIR, a group from Taiwan. The lead singer's voice is damn nice. I like this song a lot, now only the rythm is good, the words are also quite meaningful. When our love had subside, no matter how i wait for you, you won't be coming back. I cry, I sad, no matter what i do, you won't be coming back either. I'm still waiting, and i will wait for you. This is a sad love song, but i just don't know why, i love it very much. The rhytm is very nice, and te arrangement is nice. Her voice is sooo strong, makes me think of Evanescence's Amy Lee. Both of them can just hit the high notes, and stay there for long! So powerful, their voice. I keep repeating this song over and over again, and each time i notice something new. I will never get bored over this song.

I love my life! Feel so happy when i smelled freshly cut grass this morning. It's so refreshing. This morning's weather's not that good, wind is strong, and i thought it's taufan coming, but it's just the haze. So hazy, that i thought it's a storm! this's going to kill me........

Just back from the tang lang chuan class, and suddenly feel like going for the tai chi class also, which is taught byt he same instructor. I think if i force myself to go for the classes, i can at least get some exercise. I really do enjoy the class. Feel like i'm more energetic, and have more control over my own body. I really need to do something bout my body's flexibility. Think my body is very hard.

It's very hazy today around this area, and my eyes' swollen! I'm quite sensitive about this, coz the eyes can't take it. Think some where around this area is burning, coz these few day's weather been very hot and dry. Hope nothing serious over there.

This is weird. I don't know what should I'd be doing, and life's just like a big circle. Everything is just so routine. I wake up, uni, part time, back, msn, chat, sleep. I know this kind of life won't be long, coz there's only another 3 months before i graduate. But then, i'm already very sick and bored with this kind of life. I wanna go meet more people, I wanna go do the things i love. But what i like? I have no idea now. I thought that the things that I've chosen is really the things that I want, but then, for now I'm in doubt. Is this really what i want? I mean, am I going to be like this for the rest of my life? I have no idea.

What should I do next?

Another week, another day

Walking by the road side, was on my way to the earliest class this morning. Saw a lot of pretty pink flowers on the floor, and makes me wonder: life is so short, for the flowers that might be a few days, after pollination, they'll just fall off. The main purpose of their life is to have offspring. Just for a few days. Then came back to the same question: what's the main purpose of human's life? I mean, we'll have to leave everything in this life when we're dead. There's nothing that we can bring with us. We come here epmty handed, go off also empty handed. We keep going after things that in the end we'll have to leave it here. So why bother? Am I too over a bit? It's this all we can do?I think i need to sleep. This is just not me. How can i think like this? I shouldn't. The purpose of a human's life of coz is not just to have offspring (but I can't help thinkig like this!) , we have more purposes in life than to have babies.
I'm lost now. I really don't know what should i do now. What's the purpose of my life? Is this all I do? What should i do? I really am lost now, in a dilemma. I wanted to further studies, but then there's so much problem, morevver i still haven't decide what i wanna do. i've thought a lot of things, wanted to do gene theraphy, wanted to do human genetic diseases, a lot more, but all sounds like too hard to achieve. Everyone say you won't know unless you try, but then it's bound to fail, will you still go try? I have never had this kind of feelings before. But now I just feel tired and disappointed, lose self confidence, felt like i'm going to lose everything. I really don't know what will or what can i do. In one word, i'm lost.

Should I waste all my time thinking what should i do with my life, or should i just follow any path that lies in front of me, since our time here is just so short..... but i should just strive for the best! I know i can do better in my life! I will do better in life. I know i can.

new wardrobe, new bed - A new beginning

I've got myself a wardrobe and a bed this weekend, and both of them are from ikea! Ikea's having sales now, so both the items are 100 cheaper! I'm so happy! I've been eyeing the wardrobe for quite some time, but don't have the money to buy. But since now they're having sales, i might as well buy it than later regret that i haven't. I have to thank tthe future brother in law, who's kind enough to let me swipe his Ikea's friends credit card! And i only have to pay him back next month. Good deal~~~ happy happy! Now i have a new wardrobe which is big enough to stuff all my things ( and i do have A LOT of things! ) i can sleep on a bed, and i'm very satisfied with all this. At last a big wardrobe! I can't imagine i just buy it without much consideration. But then, i just wanna be comfortable with my life. It's not that i'm not good now, just that i'll feel more comfortable and relax if there's a bed for me, and all the stuffs can just go into a big wardrobe, so i don't have to see them everyday, and be troubled by all of it. And boy boy, i do have a lot of things, that di really don't know how can i chuck it all inside the cupboard. Think i'm going to rearrange my room, and hopefully i can be contended with it. I love ikea!